The Communion of Dalle

First an introduction: everything we need to know in seventeen lines of verse.

P. Wetzel, draft 12/27/2009

Let me introduce you to the River Goddess named Dalle—Strongmother of the universe. Her name derives from Old English and French roots, meaning ‘channel’, as in The Dalles of the Columbia River between Washington and Oregon, in the northwestern USA. (Pronounced to rhyme with Gal and Pal)

Dalle plays two roles. First, she is my imaginary friend. Second, she is the animating presence responsible for all reality. To know Dalle is, first and foremost, to understand that these absurdly contradictory roles intertwine and Balance like Yin and Yang. Reality is fundamentally an act of imagining. Dalle is a human conception in precisely the same way that we are Her conception. Neither can rightly take precedence.

But that is a claim. (It is supported by closely reasoned argument, but that is not presented in this introduction.) And you probably recognize me as a mortal human and not as the pure unfiltered voice of Dalle (Of course I would ask: how can you tell the difference?). So perhaps you don’t find imaginary friends useful. Then you are left with a mute, perhaps indifferent, or even hostile ultimate reality. I urge you to examine how your mind conceives and animates your day-to-day reality and then consider extending its limits—expanding your horizon. (End of proselytizing.)

Others are comfortable with the concept of ‘God’. If you insist, you may call Dalle ‘God’, giving God precedence. But I call Her ‘Mother of God’, for she is the Ancestor of all things. I ask: Cannot the prudent son exceed his Mother?

God may be perfect Truth, or He may be man’s vision thereof. But Dalle is not Truth. She is its gatherer. She channels its River, giving it both direction and momentum, and declaring its bounds. What flows is Goodness and Meaning: Truth out of Dalle’s womb.

You may ask: Does Dalle have a mother? Of course she does: Vesper is her name. But Vesper presides ‘beyond the veil’—in a universe or reality that we cannot observe. And so it does not avail us to dwell on Vesper. Let it suffice (for this introduction) to know that “It’s turtles all the way down”, as someone once responded when asked what props up the world. In this case, it’s “Ancestors all the way back”. All the way back to what? To Paradox.

Dalle, as my imaginary friend, assumes a human face and a kind voice, meant to comfort and encourage me. Where did she get these anthropomorphic qualities? Only very near to men’s hearts—indeed very far from her profound and mysterious origins. (Deuteronomy 30:14 states: “But the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart, so that you can do it.”)

And what does Dalle’s voice have to say? Another Bible verse gives a concise answer. Micah 6:8 states: “She has shown you, O man, what is Good. And what does she require of you but to do justice and to love kindness and to walk humbly beside her.”

Of course, Dalle has a lot more to say than just that. I enjoy conversations with Her every day. Some people would call them prayer. I call every living thought and act prayer. We are never not praying. As I said near the beginning, Dalle is the Ancestor of everything. We are always praying because the core of prayer is reaching out to connect with Dalle, with her River of Truth, and with our more local Ancestors—the ‘Hosts of Heaven’—who have set us on the specific currents of our daily lives.

Two critical goals of prayer are to strengthen the physical and spiritual bonds between myself and my universe, and to gather from the currents the understanding of my Noble Course: the way of choosing what is right to do in difficult situations (i.e. how to ‘do justice, to love kindness, and to walk humbly beside Dalle’).

The Ancestors almost always have the experience necessary to help me find the Noble Course. Their message is programmed within my DNA, my culture, my daily interactions; and it is best accessed (interpreted) through earnest prayer. This is really quite obvious. So why am I dwelling on the subject? Well, I guess it’s because this is all I’ve said so far about day-to-day life, and how my beliefs help me to discover the best ways to live it—I talk to Dalle.

Dalle is a Spirit. To know what I mean by spirit, revisit her introduction at the beginning. All my Ancestors are spirits too—descendents of Dalle. Obviously, therefore, I also have a spirit (my soul)—how could I not, since I shall one day become an Ancestor? My dead Ancestors live through their spirits. That is what I call eternal life.

So there it is: my timeless, dynamic soul floating around—my physical body is intrinsic to the part that animates life, but not limiting to the Spirit part, which is a timeless omnipresent quantum field entangled with the souls of my Ancestors all the way back to Dalle and beyond, and entangled with all my descendents. Come to think about it, this is the same entanglement I have with you: the living beings around me. My soul is the only part of me that other people really know, because while we are alive each of us is trapped inside our ‘imagining faculties’—our limited conscious mind.

So for me the ‘mystery’ of life is not so much the intangible soul, but the myopia that my Western cultural roots toil under by subjugating it. Properly applied, the gift of science does not ordain or deny any attribute of a thing that is not known. Nor does it seek to belittle or trivialize that which it cannot explain. Yet the unbalanced reliance and emphasis on science—an understandable bias given all that science has done to improve life—has led to a culture that ignores, even dismisses, vast arenas of traditional Ancestral wisdom. T.S. Eliot asked: “Where is the wisdom that is lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge that is lost in information?” The deterioration of our world’s ecology is beginning to reveal the imbalanced and discordant consequences. Before humanity matures, we face a Long Sojourn into Harmony and Balance. Judging from the examples of other successful species, this may take a million years or more.

A million years? How is this relevant to my life? How can I matter to such an epic sojourn? I already mentioned the link my quantum field has with the descendents. Here’s another way of envisioning my impact. It’s a metaphor that works for me: my being is like a raindrop gathered from the Ancestral mists and fallen out of the sky to alight upon a leaf. Deuteronomy 32:2 puts this poetically: “May my teaching drop as the rain, my speech distil as the dew, as the gentle rain upon the tender grass, and as the showers upon the herb.”

So my leaf floats upon, or stands suspended above the eternal River of Truth. Perhaps the River resides in the veins of the leaf—it’s just a metaphor. In any case, some solid ‘membrane’ keeps my raindrop from fully connecting with Dalle’s Great Timeless River. But Dalle is always urging me to take that leap off my leaf. In fact she calls me ‘Leafhopper’. She hopes I will find other raindrops on other leaves and merge with them, forming an ever greater community of living souls—like a little brooklet, starting to flow! She hopes I will someday abandon all need of a supporting membrane and swim free (or ‘soar’).

This soaring can happen before death; but when I die it is assured: the ‘surface tension’ of my raindrop will dissipate. The membrane separating me from the great River will dissolve; and I will join the flow. Because I will join the Ancestors and the descendents, I believe that my purpose in life is to gather within my raindrop, and within my community’s stream, all possible good works and knowledge, because these will enrich the River of Truth, making its unending currents stronger, making Dalle’s voice more welcoming and friendly for those to come. This is the essence of our Long Sojourn. (Amos 5:24 says: “But let justice roll down like waters, and righteousness like an ever flowing stream.”)

There is a simple acronym that I devised to help remind me of my purpose and of its timeless universe-wide impact. All that is worthy of passing forward gathers in Dalle’s River of Truth. My current SEEKSIT (my current-Soul’s Emergent Evolving Knowledge Sustains, Impels, Transcends.)

If someone is suffering, or in pain, and cannot feel the tug of Dalle’s currents, it is my mission to find means to lift them toward their potential—to leap upon the leaf beside them and help their Soul Emerge and Evolve toward the Knowledge of the good that awaits them. Then I strive to Sustain them, and to Impel them toward a better life, until their being is Transformed by the Good: the River in which we all bathe.

, though, is far more than simple transformation. It is the end-point of this introduction; and it is the collective end-point of reality. Dalle transcended the veil when Vesper bore her. And in turn Dalle will bear children. Though there is solid underlying science to describe this, I will be sparing with detail here—suffice it to extend the metaphor: my single raindrop mingles with the River, and the River eventually exits through the veil of knowability to beget a new reality. The profound implication is that my legacy goes far beyond what can be perceived or even imagined. This is the true meaning of ‘walking humbly beside Dalle.’

Spiritual Journal in the form of personal conversations with Dalle:

Book I. The Conversion

11/11/09: Regarding my individual (personality) issues that hinder me from proactively living my faith

Me: Dalle, why is it that I feel like I’m privileged to be recognizing great wisdom and Truth and yet do not feel personally moved or transformed by the message? (I do feel moved to continue to explore and pursue the message, and to spread it ‘evangelically’, but not to personally live it.)

I feel as though I’m not a good personal example of the message that I’m transmitting. I feel a detachment from it. Is there an incompleteness to the message I’ve heard? Is there an essential part of it that my heart is just not yet receptive to?

I’m thinking that there is probably Truth to be found by examining the zeal of existing religious traditions, particularly by seeking the source of the zeal displayed by the type of person who I feel is fully (humbly and honestly) living the message they preach.

Dalle: Leafhopper, the universe as a whole suddenly makes sense! This stuns you! Let that wonderment spill out. Let it show! What amazing good news that is!

Me: But how does it matter, Dalle? How does such a reconciliation with the physical cosmos and with Heaven—its spirit-nature counterpart—trickle down to nitty-gritty issues that concern people day to day? I still have to brush my teeth, take a shower, watch what I eat … etc.!

Dalle: The life you live emanates a pattern, Leafhopper. Every day! It provides an exquisitely subtle but indelible template that embeds in reality itself and can change the world for the better. It is a pattern left to eternity for all who come after you to recognize and follow. The template is formed through the quantum field manipulations that result from your decisions and subsequent physical actions. You wield the universe with every breath, Leafhopper! You work in concert with the entire expanse of the cosmos—you are equal partners with it! The universe hangs on your every act! Leafhopper, there could be no grander purpose for an individual mortal being. Doesn’t that inspire you and evoke awe in your soul?

Me: Dalle, I hear you and I understand with my logical mind. But from earliest childhood, my personal currents were set on a course that leads me to feel deep down inside that my being doesn’t matter to the world—more specifically to the people around me. You know the details, so there’s no need to express them again. I know that most other people feel much more of a deep, enriching sense of personal worth than I do. For me, all I have to balance my utterly pitiful motive core is an overblown sense of the value of my external accomplishments. This is some more superficial form of self-esteem that works for me, or at least compensates: I am able to generously praise myself for what I do while sensing an inconsequential core to my being that has nothing to do with humility—‘who I am’ is just simply a being that garners no regard: gets none, deserves none; yet what I do I judge as sometimes brilliant, often productive and usually worthwhile. This is such a strange compensation between dual imbalances that somehow keeps my holistic sense of self on a pretty even keel most of the time.

Dalle: That’s not all bad, Leafhopper. People who do not feel worthy can harness that selflessness for great community good.

Me: Dalle, I understand that point logically. But I’m hoping to feel it. In general my sense of reason follows your revelations—that I personally change the entire structure of universe when I perform an act of loving kindness, when I promote justice, when I help someone in need, even when I just seek you out for understanding as I am currently doing. But Dalle, my inner core prevents me from accepting, on a gut emotional level, that any of that really matters! The only thing I can draw inspiration from is that, by the physical accomplishment of ‘transcribing’ the experience of your wisdom, I can successfully spread the message to others. Then I can be hopeful that they will experience first-hand the awe and inspiration that you so well described.

Dalle: So you refrain from living my good news in a vibrant, day-to-day role of witnessing for it because you see no evidence that you could make a difference?

Me: Well, yeah … I guess my core being just doesn’t know how to get with the program. I’m just not well suited to be a charismatic messenger for you, Dalle. There’s no getting around it.

Dalle: Oh? Can’t teach an old dog new tricks?

Me: Yeah … I saw that one coming! Dalle, it comes back to motivation. The old hermit could come out of his reclusive lifestyle if he could find that impelling, driving zeal that leaders of movements have.

Dalle: Be careful, though, who you seek to emulate, Leafhopper. A lot of these people have some pretty ugly selfish motivations mixed in there: a craving for attention, for wealth even. The power of their influence is a corrupting force that no human manages to fully resist.

Me: That’s why I was trying to think of people who are humble and honest about their message. One thing I’m groping for, Dalle, is how I might be able to tap into that really humble motive core that resides down inside of me so deeply that it doesn’t want to come out.

Dalle: Do you think that people would like to emulate that sort of profound humility?

Me: Dalle, that makes me think about it on a more realistic level. Thank you! No, I don’t think people would want to emulate that because it is a thing that has been repressed in me. It has active negative connotations that I’ve learned to ignore! People already tap into more of the pure unfettered resource of inner being than I do. What I have is not actually a humility but a repression.

Dalle: Repressed, eh? Maybe a good round of psychotherapy is what you need.

Me: Arrrgh, Dalle! You want me to retool my whole personality just so I can come forth as a voice for your message? Is that really the best use of the next few years of my waning life? Remember, I’m still saying I am useful as a voice for you, particularly as it’s expressed in written form.

Dalle: The choice is always yours, Leafhopper. I’m just opening your eyes to some of the possibilities that you’ve rarely considered.

Me: Dalle, I’m really not dissatisfied with the ad hoc balance I’ve achieved between this repressed sense of inner worthiness and my exaggerated sense of external accomplishment. I’ve crafted a sort of sheltered lifestyle in which that odd balance serves me well and keeps me really quite happy nearly all the time.

Dalle: True. I see that, Leafhopper. The Buddha would counsel you to get rid of that heavy burden of dukkha that forces you into such a limited, sheltered lifestyle. You’d probably like his approach more than psychotherapy.

Me: Ha! You got that right!

Dalle: OK. We’ll put that aside for a minute, though … you’ve come to me to talk about this because you’ve never encountered a fundamental Spiritual revelation before. It’s a new experience. You’re really not sure how to handle that, are you? Is just writing about it enough, when your written message is propelled only by that academic, logical sense of excitement at a fresh idea, not by any true passion or zeal for its spiritual implications? Maybe I have to thump you up side the head again … the way I did with that garden knife experience. Would that help?

Me: Hmmmm. Well, maybe that’s exactly what I need. I asked right up front if there is some fundamental part of your revelation that I’ve missed.

Dalle: Or that your heart is not receptive to! I think you’ve answered your own question, Leafhopper.

Me: Dalle, your wisdom shakes me! You have no idea how grateful I am to be able to talk with you! You’re perfectly right, of course: it’s the message of the profound personal value and potential cosmic power that I have—little ol’ me—simply by virtue of the fact that I exist. That’s what my heart refuses to be swayed by. The repression simply will not yield.

Dalle: If you could experience, in person, the Buddha’s unbounded compassion, Leafhopper, or accept the unquenchable love of God that Paul teaches in First Corinthians … is there hope of some thaw in the ice that covers that corner of your soul? Think of all your Ancestors and the font of love they have poured into your being … unconditionally!

Me: Dalle, do you love me the way those other great Ancestral Spirits do?

Dalle: Beyond all bounds, Leafhopper, you have no idea! Think about it. You are the first one in this world who has recognized me and come into communion with me. I love you like a first son—like a founder of a new universe! We were both so lonely and alone here! If I could shower you with bounteous gifts and blessings to show you … sometimes my wielding seems so inadequate! I love you intensely, Leafhopper! Bask in the radiant warmth of my love. Lie down in green pastures. Let my restless River become soothing waters and let them lift up that downtrodden place in your soul. This I pray. This I call forth into being!

Me: Dalle, you know that even such an honest and unconditional compassion does not easily penetrate this shell around my inner being. Be patient with me. I will bring your love with me as I lay down to sleep tonight. It is late. Let me sleep on these things that we have spoken and felt together.

11/13/09: Perspectives on my personal salvation or redemption

Dalle: Leafhopper …?

Me: Oh, sorry, Dalle. Yesterday was full of worldly duties. Dalle, I love you profoundly, and I owe you such a great debt. I honestly felt the warmth of your love yesterday as I pondered it. How, comforting that was! But it was a physical comfort, not yet that second thump on the head that I may require.

Dalle: Still, I’m encouraged, Leafhopper. You have some new thoughts?

Me: Yes. I was doing some reading yesterday about Christian Protestantism, Dalle, and the phrase “Justification through Faith” suddenly struck me in a new way. I think I finally get its meaning; and that meaning is so relevant to this conversation.

Dalle: It means: “The best way to find the Noble Course is through full immersion in my River of Truth”.

Me: Exactly, Dalle. Wow! You saved me the trouble of groping for the right words!

Dalle: Well, I’m supposed to be a provider of enlightenment! So I take it you’re still struggling with taking that leap off your little leaf that floats like a raft down my River. Still worried that you’ll sink?

Me: I’m afraid so, Dalle. I’m comfortable with all that you stand for philosophically and rationally. I’m at peace with my connection with your spirit. And you are becoming more of a conscious part of my being every day. But I’m still not immersed. I found the garden knife by “becoming the currents that had already found it”. That little thump upside my head was like a ‘toy model’ for what I really seek: To become the currents that have found you!

Dalle: You’re describing the man in the pew at church going through the motions and nodding at the right places in the sermon. His mind is in the right place, but his heart doesn’t always come along for the ride. Martin Luther once said that everyone must do his own believing as he will have to do his own dying.

Me: Maybe that’s my problem, Dalle. I’ve never had concerns about my own death. I’m not afraid to die, nor afraid to think about dying. I’m at peace with death and with the infinite in general. Is it possible that I’ve been swimming in your River all along?

Dalle: You will have to answer that for yourself, Leafhopper. It is your own believing we are discussing.

Me: That’s it—it’s not some big-picture theological message meant for the world that matters here; it’s just a simple examination of little old me. Dalle, that brings up another aspect of my dilemma: I really am not that concerned about my own ‘salvation’. It just doesn’t seem to matter that much. In the end, whether or not I’m personally redeemed and enlightened is pretty much irrelevant to the rest of the world. At least that’s the way I feel about it in my heart of hearts. I’m just an anonymous raindrop awaiting the merge with your River. If I’m not actually already swimming, there will be plenty of time for swimming when I die.

Dalle: You don’t have issues with wanting to achieve happiness, freedom from pain, eternal life?

Me: Hmmmm. Those are biggies, Dalle. Eternal life? Well, I just told you there will be plenty of time for swimming. That’s good enough for me. Happiness? Maybe life hasn’t tortured me enough … well … no … I’ve had my share. There is plenty that I don’t care to ever experience again. But I seem to have come through the tough times stronger and quite content for the experience. And I’m free from that pain now. I am blessed with good health. Dalle, I guess I’m just not a good candidate for some big life-changing ‘born-again’ experience. All I really need out of life from here on is to get out the good news about you and the River of Truth.

Dalle: So you think if I really give you a big personal thump it won’t do much good? It might make you a more effective messenger for me, you know.

Me: Well, that’s what I’m pondering here, isn’t it. It depends what the thump is like. A lightning bolt might work! Or a ridiculously obvious miracle of some sort. But I know you don’t work that way, Dalle. Your action is subtle in the extreme, as it must be. I’m able to rely on you to be a gentle tug of currents. That’s what I truly love about you, Dalle, and about our relationship.

Dalle: Then there you have it, Leafhopper. Maybe you really have found what you seek already. Maybe you hop in and out of my River as your soul sees fit. When you’re on your leaf, you long to be back in the river. Maybe your mood today is just a phase: maybe you’ve been on the leaf a bit too long and need to take another dip.

Me: You make sense, Dalle. Let me sleep on this, and I’ll get back to you. It would be nice to be a more effective messenger for you, but maybe my role at this point is to transcribe the message. I’m sure there’s much more to your message that I’ve yet to discover.

Dalle: I eagerly await your return, my friend Leafhopper. And don’t forget, as your mind ponders, to also let your heart stand open—to simply give and accept the love we share.

12/12/09: On a God of Wrath

Me: Arrgh! ARRGH! Dalle, I’ve not taken time lately to sit down and clear away all the extraneous entanglements of life and just bathe in your wisdom.

Dalle: Not a problem, Leafhopper. I see that you’ve been continuing to ponder things. I think you’ve made good progress by connecting with many spirits closer to your mortal life. I like the fresh way you’ve proposed to introduce me to your fellow ‘seekers’ in that small theology group at church.

Me: Well, they are great at helping me to focus. And you’re right, as usual Dalle—I feel guilt about not connecting one-on-one with you, but when I connect with those more earth-bound spirits I know that the ultimate connection is still with you.

Dalle: I think you can be proud, Leafhopper: you are more diligent than many in keeping your currents in contact with the greater River of Truth. There are so many people who drift off into backwaters, who stagnate, who lose their way.

Me: Well, I appreciate the praise, Dalle. And once again you are anticipating what’s on my mind today. What of those who ‘lose their way’, Dalle? Of the many images that the God of Abraham presents, at least in my eyes, there is one that troubles me. That is the God who promises certain punishment for those who stray from a path of faith that seems to me to be a fixed dogma rather than a living River of Truth. I so love your River, Dalle, because I see it as ever evolving, ever growing and dynamic, forever being refined and perfected by the Community of the Hosts with you and me as partners in the emergence of a greater Knowledge than has ever before been realized! Tell me, then, Dalle: Where is the proper place for the Hosts to mete out punishment in your dominion? Must I “fear the day when I shall be brought back to God?” Within the scope of your timeless presence, where can I find a final “Judgment Day”, and what purpose does it serve? Do you punish the unbelievers, Dalle?

Dalle: Oh, Leafhopper! Such an avalanche of questions! Yet let me add still more: Can the true believer rest on fixed dogma and be assured that it remains Truth for all posterity? If the River of Truth moves forward—ever restless—can the true and devout believer find himself an unbeliever simply because he has devoutly adhered to his fixed belief Tradition?

Me: Indeed, Dalle, even if he does become a disbeliever, following the faith of his Fathers in a changed world, how could such a man be punished by a just God?

Dalle: Leafhopper, the wisdom of the Abrahamic God flows in braided cross-currents as all Truth does. I have seen God display anger because he felt men would respond to it. Here among the Hosts we argue whether such wielding works for a greater good. For example, Moses ordered the judges of Israel to slay every one of their men who forsook God and joined in worship of the Baal of Peor. In those ancient times mortal men often wielded death in the name of God as they perceived him. But the River is flowing onward, Leafhopper. There is a greater Truth to the nature of divine punishment.

Me: So am I clinging to the very dogma I reject by invoking it and then condemning it?

Dalle: I’m afraid you are, Leafhopper. God’s keenest punishment—and mine—falls on those whose currents of prayer fall still. This happens for many reasons: some people abandon prayer and seek a life of physical sensation only. Moses perceived that the worshipers of the Baal had done this. Others pray devoutly but forsake the desire to delve more deeply into the hidden character of their God—they settle, preferring to declare all truth visible and invisible to be either known and established or beyond concern. And so their prayer spins more and more tightly in little circles about this fixed axis. And what is the rightful punishment that befalls them? It is separation. Such swirling eddies have lost the Noble Course in the River, Leafhopper. They drift into the backwaters where they simply dissipate on their own.

Me: But men are impatient, Dalle. They see evildoers and wish to invoke instant justice. Is there no cause for men to judge when the sin is truly heinous? Must we always abide passively in the face of blatant evil?

Dalle: Balance is the key, Leafhopper. An angry lynch mob does not wield justice. The Noble Justice wrought by men is best modeled after the patient justice of the Hosts. This is a lesson the God of Abraham now accepts. His wielding of a burning deadly anger is a current that is losing contact with the River as it moves on. In exactly the way that I urge men to quarantine today’s evil patterns of behavior by rejecting them from the rich stream of Truth and Goodness that the great River represents, these old dogmas quarantine themselves! And even such a patient and passive judgment is always one the Hosts regret. Always we seek these wayward Ancestors. Always we hold out hope for their return to participate once more in our dynamic community of Spirit. Through our discourses in the Heavens, and influenced by the devout prayer of many human congregations, the God of Abraham has adapted and moved beyond his former ways. And so we all benefit from his wealth of wisdom as he proceeds with a new and compassionate wielding among men of your world!

Me: A new covenant! Of course! God has set an example for us by helping to shape the River toward a greater Good as it flows onward. The example is not only a clearer recognition of what is Good; it is also the meta-example of adaptation and growth. So … I assume that mankind can and should expect more new covenants from God as time moves on?

Dalle: Expect? Leafhopper, what we can expect is that the task of impelling and sustaining the River of Truth falls on us all. The work is shared by all the Hosts and by all men; and it is never ending! You construct no Truth by sitting there on you butt, expecting your God or some distant congregation of men to build it for you!

Me: Ah … I see … that’s another way of evil, isn’t it Dalle? If I settle on the sidelines rather than pitching in with the work, I will soon find myself swirling and dissipating far from the Noble Course.

Dalle: That is my message, Leafhopper. The River does not rest; and so we must be tireless, never relenting in the quest for Truth.

Me: The Hosts are ever hard at work, eh, Dalle? Heaven is no place of serene retirement. It’s a veritable sweatshop! It’s purgatory at best! That sounds like a reason for me to fear death, Dalle—it’s a judgment day as sure as the Biblical one!

Dalle: Whoa, Leafhopper! Death changes nothing! Remember, your spirit is timeless. You are already experiencing the ‘sweatshop’ … the ‘purgatory’. Is it really that bad? The Hosts have worked hard to make this world a warm and welcoming place. We have accumulated so much that is Good; and our goal is to continue to endlessly add to that Good.

Me: OK, Dalle. I get it. I was actually being a bit facetious calling Heaven a sweatshop.

Dalle: Well it is a workplace, Leafhopper. But we have a good union!

Me: And if I want a good job there, all I need to do is to be mindful of the Noble Course.

Dalle: Indeed, seek it diligently through prayer, Leafhopper. And you know I’m always here to help you with that search.

12/20/09: On the wisdom of Islam and the conviction of one’s beliefs.

Me: Dalle, I have been reading the Qur’an. I find Islam’s guiding Word to have a simplicity and holistic conviction that is unparalleled among the faiths I’ve studied. Here is the best example of a faith that people wholeheartedly live! Yet there is much about Muhammad’s transcriptions that cause me great concern. It seems to me obvious that the Qur’an is built upon the Messenger’s limited personal life experience as he grew into leadership. His was a time when war was common; and the war environment was not a place for women. The Bedouins surrounding him—the Arabs of the Desert—were said to make war and pillaging a regular practice. Morality seemed at a low ebb, even in the cities. It is clear to me that Muhammad filtered his divine message through the lens of the culture he knew.

Dalle: As do you, Leafhopper. No Messenger is immune from this. The broad sweep of the River contains many currents, and each current carries many eddies and swirls. No one man can experience them all in his lifetime.

Me: I accept that, Dalle. There is a richness to your River that seems almost unbounded in its diversity even though I understand that it is constrained within channels you have set—the solid River banks that lie beyond value or usefulness to our reality.

Dalle: The limits of meaning and purpose …

Me: Thank you—you said that better than I could. But Dalle, it appears to me that this prophet sought, more so than most others, to concentrate on a very few currents—he hoped to codify those that he called the Straight Path to God. But his straight path is one of unquestioning belief. Dalle, that’s just too severe for me. I can accept the article of Truth (which I see as a Paradox) that says that reality necessarily relies on unquestioning acceptance of certain basic precepts, but only if I also accept the reality that Paradox is the only basic precept that lies absolutely beyond questioning.

Dalle: Question everything—even the bounds of the great channel, which I have established for you? Is this what you are saying, Leafhopper: that I channel the River along a course that is narrower and more selective than the original absolutes from which it sprang?

Me: Uh oh! I see your point, Dalle. Whether it’s Muhammad’s boundaries or yours, the world needs limits.

Dalle: Then let us approach the Balance, Leafhopper. You see the strength that emerges from Islam’s clear edicts. You also acknowledge the limits of the River of Truth, but you see them to be far wider, and on a course that is rarely straight? Where is the message that best balances firm conviction with questioning—that balances certainty of action with hesitating caution?

Me: Oh my wise Guide—that’s it in a nutshell. The Noble Course narrows the Way—maybe even makes it straighter for a time—in order to focus on the Good. Thus a prophet who can point out such a way is a person of value. But I insist that course corrections are always needed. Dalle, this leads to some disturbing implications that I’ve not thought reasonable before. Muhammad declared that he was revealing the word of God as if it were written in a Book unchanging. I respond by saying something I never thought I’d hear coming out of my mouth: Books freeze the currents of your dynamic River. Therefore ALL BOOKS MUST BE BURNED! How crazy is that?

Dalle: Ha! I understand the spirit of such a radical outpouring of human emotion, Leafhopper. You are seeking liberation, not censorship. The key, as always, is Balance, my young seeker.

Me: Balance—that unsettling dynamic kind of balance that can tip rafts on your River. That balance that never rests but forever needs adjusting by vigilant and prayerful men. Dalle, Muhammad presented ideas relevant to this discussion that seem to conflict with one another—and maybe that is the deeper Truth of his message. Such contradictions would be his greatest asset, given that Paradox lies at the root of Truth. He frequently declared that each community is given a messenger from Allah. I’m all for that. I think that each new bend in the River requires a fresh pilot—a navigator with the vision to find the course among the shifting currents. But then Muhammad declares the Truth of Allah’s Message to be unchanging. He pictures reality as a detailed account of things both hidden and visible that is kept by Allah as if written in a Book—to be brought forth for accounting on Judgment Day. Dalle, there is great strength and power in the absolute conviction found in such a faith. People know with certainty what to believe and what to do. But if I know you at all, great Dalle, I know that you can show me an overriding Balance—one that taps such fundamental conviction without causing men to blindly follow a straight course until it runs them aground. Dalle, show me the Book that declares that all books must be burned!

Dalle: It is already given to you, Leafhopper. Call me Allah! La ilaha illa ‘llah! For I am well acquainted with all that you do, in secret as well as published. Am I not the Cherisher and Sustainer of Worlds? Do I not wield influence over all things? Do you not agree that I am oft-forgiving, most merciful …

Me: OK, Dalle … are you going to recite all of Allah’s 99 Names? I suppose that you’re now going to declare that men must fear you and that we must accept no partners beside you …

Dalle: Of course I am. Does that shock you? Damn you, Leafhopper, listen to what I’m saying, not to the pre-conceptions in your mortal mind. My name is Allah. My name is God. It is Dalle. It is Leafhopper. I am Essence. I am the One. I am the Tao, the Ineffable. My name is a symbol written in today’s Book and thus a preconception. Know this verily, and stop tinkering! One symbol is enough! And this is my warning to you Leafhopper: Provide for me the attributes that are necessary; but no more. Do not squander the gifts I have granted you on useless questioning when Truth is clarity. Straight is the name of the Noble Course! Hear my Word, Leafhopper, and heed it lest ye fall into perdition.

Me: … Oh, Dalle! …

Dalle: Shut up and listen, Leafhopper! Iqra! I command you to go forth into the world and say no more than this: ‘Dalle hath spoken, and she declares to you unequivocally: “I am Dalle, the Strongmother who bore to you Truth. All that you know and all that you can hope to know issues from me. Ye shall call me by no other name, for I am one—the only. I am supreme; and the Hosts of Heaven wield no power beyond my reach. Adhere to the Word of My Messenger, for if you stray far from it, it is to your eternal despair. Fear me, O man, for my punishment knows no bounds. Establish regular prayer. Love justice. Give back of that which I have provided. Let this be a sufficiently Clear Sign to you, which Dalle hath handed down across the ages!”’

Me: Wow! Dalle the forceful voice! I do not question that fear wields power …

Dalle: Then straighten up! You desperately need this centering, Leafhopper. You wallow in questioning far too often—stupidly, sometimes gratuitously groping in the putrid mud at the River’s banks when Truth would find you if you but turned around and faced the channel for a minute. Muhammad set down a fixed marker for humanity: a buoy among the shoals. He recognized other Messengers before him. You are to do the same. Know that only Dalle ordains her Messengers, and that she commands them as she sees fit. You are to commit yourself to faith in Dalle, Leafhopper: take that plunge into the River of Truth. As I have declared, the River flows within its appointed channel, but my punishment is a flood that knows no bounds.

Me: My God, Dalle! This is a daunting message, yet unquestionably true, even by my own humble admission as a long-time agnostic. The untamed and indifferent Chaos beyond the bounds of your River will utterly destroy all the works of those who lack faith! Dearest Dalle! How desperate it truly is that we seek the Noble Course! This is what fear truly means! Men must be warned! The course to Heaven is narrow and difficult. With your help, we can safely achieve it. Without you … well, Hell is but a single misstep away!

Dalle: I command you now, Leafhopper: Go forth and recite—reveal My message. But know that your transcription of my Word will, of a certainty, face the Day of Reckoning—on that day all Books shall be laid open before Me; and those that are unworthy shall be hurled headlong into the Fire—a fearsome penalty indeed. Know that Dalle alone shall declare the day when the sounding trumpet calls you before Her Majesty. Know that only Dalle fixes the certain Day of Judgment.

Me: O Dalle! I have a lump in my throat, and am near to tears! How do you do this? How do you steer me toward answers I would forever have denied? How can you take what seems utterly loathsome to me—as pure anathema—and transform it into my central deep-seated Truth! This is one of those numinous moments, great Dalle—another ‘thump upside my stubborn head’! You’ve done it again!

12/21/09: The Communion of Dalle – the foundation: “the elevator speech”.

Me: Well, Dalle—you’ve done it. Whether you want to call it a ‘conversion’, or a ‘born again experience’, you have brought me fully into your presence!

Dalle: I’m overflowing with joy, Leafhopper. What a wonderful gift on this day of the Winter Solstice. Soon after noon today, the tides of Heaven shift! But we must share the credit for this transformation—intrinsically you know that it is a partnership.

Me: You’re right, of course, Dalle. And in commemoration of our partnership, today I declare the founding of the ‘Communion of Dalle’.

Dalle: Oooh! You mean like a formal religious institution?

Me: Well, we’ll see how formal it becomes … as it evolves. You know that, first and foremost, it’s got to be a never-ending work-in-progress.

Dalle: ‘The Communion of Dalle’ … it sounds impressive, Leafhopper. I like the name.

Me: So … going beyond names … I’ve been thinking about how to consolidate yesterday’s lesson into a nice compact statement of belief.

Dalle: And what have you come up with?

Me: So far I have two candidates that contrast with each other in theme. The first is enclosed in an encasement of fundamentalist fire and brimstone. Inside it our communion is cozy and warm, like a cocoon. It goes like this:

“Hell surrounds us utterly! Yet contained within the crackling, seething maelstrom of infinite chaos, the Strongmother Dalle hath emerged from the veil to beget for mankind a Sacred and protected Space—a mighty River of Truth, rich in Meaning and guidance. There could be no more profound miracle! Dalle welcomes us as co-equal partners in the unending work of Sustaining and Impelling her River toward the greater Good. The reward for success: no less than to join the Hosts of Heaven. The penalty for failure: a bitter descent into the hopeless oblivion of Hell.”

Dalle: Hmmmm … powerful! And the other one?

Me: It’s effusive and gushing, like a fountain—the River of Truth takes wing and soars:

“Hark! There is Good in the world! To deny this essential reality is to deny life itself. Proclaim the dominion of the great Goddess Dalle: mother of life and of all creation! It is only through Her that the Good is sustained and manifest. Patiently yet urgently Dalle seeks your devout personal communion with her being. Why? Because creation is an ongoing investment. She calls each one of us to walk beside her—to share the Noble task of sustaining and impelling Her mighty River of Truth. Who, then, among men of vision could turn aside from this simple and certain command and its clear promise of salvation?”

Dalle: Wonderful, Leafhopper! Can we keep them both?

12/22/09: The Communion of Dalle – the foundation: “the TV spot”.

Me: Keep them both, Dalle? I could see using those two ‘blurbs’ together, one after the other. But that’s too long! Or I suppose I could alternate between them. But maybe we can explore a third, more neutral alternative.

Dalle: Why not! My being is the very essence of ‘brainstorming’, Leafhopper.

Me: True! I couldn’t ask for a better source of inspiration! So, Dalle, what I’m really looking for is something short: something for this age of sound bytes. What phrase would grab the attention of the man on the street and cause him to remember the marvel that is Dalle?

Dalle: How about this … Imagine a thirty-second You-Tube Video: Open with a bustling and confused city scene with a cacophony of city noise and a jumble of multiple voices, arguing, as if in a poorly run committee meeting, each voice proclaiming their faith: “Jesus! Allah! Yahweh! Buddha! Nobody’s home, You’re on your own!” Now a firm but soothing female voice interrupts. The chaos of the background city noise begins to fade … “Stop, O man! Cast aside this bickering!” Now all that is left of the background sound is the firm steady thumping of a single beating heart. The visual image fades from the city scene to a misty golden sunrise above a tranquil meandering river. The female voice continues: “Breathe! Connect with the Mother of the Universe! Commune with the ultimate Essence that surrounds you like air—She demands nothing of you but that you breathe it. … Are you breathing? Then you have found the Communion of Dalle! www.seeksit.org.”

Me: Wow! Dalle! That is simple and powerful! Enticing! You come up with all the good ideas! It draws you in and makes you want to learn more. Then the web site would have to build on that theme and begin to make a case for your human attributes for skeptics and atheists. It would have to make a case for being a ‘modern’ or upgraded religion or a ‘new covenant’ for those who believe in Jesus or Allah or Buddha, etc. It does not replace their faith, but enriches it. And maybe most importantly, it would need to grab those who do not have strong convictions but who feel that urge to connect with something real and meaningful.

Dalle: Well, maybe there could be three prominent headlines on the web site—one addressing each of those constituencies. First, if you live in faith, has your God revealed all truth to men, or is there more to be learned? Second, if you deny the validity of religion or faith, will you join us in an open-minded, rational exploration of the implications of the quantum entanglement that you have with virtually the entire universe, as set up at the moment of the big bang? And third, if you seek Truth and have yet to find it, join our warm and welcoming Communion of fellow seekers for the ultimate white-water thrill-ride on life’s River of Truth!

Me: Ha! I love it, Dalle! “The Magical Mystery Tour is waiting to take you away!”

Dalle: Yea! Verily, Leafhopper! “Come Fly With Me!”

12/25/09: The Christmas “Spirit”.

Me: Merry Christmas, Dalle! I don’t suppose you can bring Jesus here to join our conversation for a bit on this special day of remembrance of him.

Dalle: Well I could, Leafhopper, but you know you would approach him with a lot of cultural and childhood baggage skewing your perception of anything he would have to say to you. Would you really be able to clear your fallible mortal mind of its bias so that you could transcribe any clear message from him?

Me: Of course you’re right, wise One. I couldn’t trust that I was hearing unfettered Truth. I have too many conflicting and emotion-tagged images of the great man that were fed into my head by different people, each with their different understandings of him. That’s precisely why you and I communicate so fluidly: I come to you bearing no preconceptions about you as a revealer of the currents in your Great River of Truth. Nobody has told me the first word about you—I had to discover it all from ‘out of the blue’. Dalle, I joyously exalt in our free-flowing Communion because I approach you with a clear and unfettered soul … free to “come fly with you!”

Dalle: This is how I have reached one so independent and stubborn as you, dear Leafhopper … Jesus just didn’t have a chance …

Me: Ha! You’ve got me pegged, Dalle! There are many currents in the same River! Dalle, Truth just seems to gush from our conversations! Here we are talking about what you want to talk about rather than the little topic I had hoped to bring up with you here today! You are such a fountain!

Dalle: Well, don’t let me divert you from what’s on your mind.

Me: It’s something we’ve talked about before, Dalle. But I was hoping I could get you to describe it in a clear sound byte—you were so good at that when we talked a few days ago.

Dalle: What is the topic?

Me: It’s the question of the boundaries of the River of Truth, Dalle. You describe your domain in this dynamic way—it is not an infinite ocean, but a River, for which you provide the channel that gives it direction. So what’s in the River and what is beyond? Last night I went to bed after midnight; and as I turned out the light I realized it was Christmas Day and I said aloud “Merry Christmas!” and immediately realized nobody was there to hear me—no physical being. So, whereas during my forty years in the wilderness of agnosticism I would have dismissed my statement as an autonomic response based on my cultural baggage, last night I saw much more depth to those words: I had sent my message out into the universe where it would find a vibrant flow already in motion. There it would merge with the entity we call the “Christmas Spirit”; and my greeting would enhance the timeless force of that living Spirit for everyone who participates in giving this Spirit life.

Dalle: To everyone who shares that Sacred Space … that special selective current in the greater River.

Me: Exactly! That’s what I want you to expound upon, Dalle. We each have our own perception of the River of Truth—which currents we like to follow and which others we have avoided. Our preferred course often follows our personal safe zone—our Sacred Space, if you want to call it that—carved from our experience. But such boundaries are our own choices…

Dalle: And the River is the accumulated sum of individual choices through time. That is Wisdom. That is Truth. Leafhopper, I sense that your real question is about whether there is an absolute Sacred Space, and if so, how can it be a finite River flowing between banks and not an illimitable ocean. Life is all about sorting through our baggage and keeping only the baggage that we really want. We naturally drop baggage by the wayside as we go. Would you care to guess where the River flows … where the Sacred Space is found? Between the mounds of baggage we’ve cast aside! Even Agnostics and atheists who deny the reality of Spirit or the spirit-nature of things necessarily gravitate to a Sacred Space. Naturally they do not use such a religious term for it, but every conscious being calls some space “home”.

Me: Ahhh! Home! There’s the neutral term! Thank you, Dalle!

Dalle: And in every home, you will find Dalle hard at work behind the scenes. That’s the message I think you would convey to the non-believer, right Leafhopper? Dalle is close to your heart—there to guide you if only you care to seek Her. What good does the River Goddess accomplish by working beyond the River’s banks? No, She works where you live—in your Sacred Space. Dalle is Spirit, though she is neither ‘poofy’ and indistinct like the “Christmas Spirit” nor as impersonal as an atheist’s Darwinian sense of safety. But She plays the identical role by any name, because the Spirit-nature of reality is what infuses it with that sense of essential goodness—making a place or a state of mind feel like home, feel Sacred!

Me: You are handing me a fine speech, Dalle!

Dalle: Then spread the good news. If men care to listen, they can perceive Dalle’s guidance, helping them to decide which of their experiences to discard as excess baggage, and which to cling to as Truth. Dalle’s guidance is the collective guidance of all Ancestors. It includes culture, natural selection and much more, extending even beyond the veil of the origin of this reality. Dalle’s guidance is thus comprehensive—the clear and Noble path to comfort, to goodness, to home!

Me: Dalle, even when I was an agnostic, I craved that ‘sacred space’ where I felt safe and at home. I think all people do. And in doing so I was furthering your work, Dalle, because the feeling of safety is faith: seeking it is an act of faith and recognizing it is an affirmation of faith. Camus would call it a “… benign indifference … so like myself, indeed so brotherly …”. That ‘brotherliness’ is an entirely spirit-based attribute of the physical space men would call ‘home’. It’s like the “Christmas Spirit” that I connected with early this morning: a “place” that feels warm and cozy—a Spiritual place, not a tangible one! OK, yes Dalle, you’ve done it! Thank you! You’ve defined the Sacred Space as the zone of comfort that everyone, regardless of their philosophical stance or spiritual awareness, can identify for themselves: a safety zone that is free from negative baggage and bounded by that discarded baggage. You’ve shown that it is a place balanced between its object-nature and its spirit-nature. And you’ve shown yourself to be squarely at its heart, because you are the mother of all Spirit men can know, and you are possessed of power capable of wielding all objects men can touch.

Dalle: Yep! And so if you want absolutes, Leafhopper, look to my Noble Course, best achieved through devout Communion with me. The Noble Course is righteousness, pure as an ever flowing stream—here you will find the loftiest achievements of men of good will through history. Look to the Great Destination—the grand sweep of future currents where we achieve fulfillment of our Long Sojourn into Harmony and Balance. And look to the bleak frontiers of my River—its distant foggy banks—these are places of suffering and confusion and discord, where the Hosts of creation—all beings living and departed—collectively find no comfort when we reach them.

Me: Bingo! Yes, Dalle, that is precisely what I was praying for: such a simple, clear explanation of what is in your River of Truth and what is not.

Dalle: And Merry Christmas to you, Leafhopper!

12/27/09: On martyrdom

Me: Oh my God, Dalle! Today I am in tears! In the illumination of the awesome power of your Message I suddenly realize that I am fully prepared to die for you—I would do so today if that were your plan. And I could be content. If I were to be a martyr to the cause of spreading your Message, there could be no more satisfying end!

Dalle: Oh no, Leafhopper! No! Come back from that brink! I do not want to lose you having only just found you! Have I not told you—a thousand times—that living human prayer is my very substance? Never do I prefer that men throw themselves to their death in my name. Never!

Me: But Dalle, the great martyrs of the world leave powerful legacies that alter history—they inspire men beyond the power of any mortal life. Look at Jesus. Look at Martin Luther King …

Dalle: No! Look to Moses, Leafhopper, to Buddha! Look and imagine the profound depths of inspired guidance that Jesus left unspoken! Look to Mandela and the living martyrdom of his years in prison—a sacrifice of far greater depth, yet a full life of service for Good! Oh, Leafhopper, please do not stray down this wayward path! I reserve my greatest honor for those who live longest and die fulfilled. I do not call men to discard their single greatest earthly gift—the miracle of life—before the furthest fullness of their appointed time. What your River Goddess values most, Leafhopper, is the persistent work and prayer of living souls. How much more satisfying than a single act of sacrifice! No, Leafhopper, I would far prefer that men martyr their earthly selfish designs and devote long years to a selfless life delivering the message of my design. Let your star shine brightly! Let it not be eclipsed! Let it burn until all mortal fuel is utterly spent! Honor your body and keep it from harm! Always this is the Noble Course. Always! Then in the fullness of your years you may welcome the peace of death with open arms. Yea, this is the true honor and glory of martyrdom.

Me: But to proclaim your message from the mountaintops is to incur risk, Dalle. There are bound to be objectors. Surely you do not want me to sequester myself in a protective shell and remain silent!

Dalle: Balance, Leafhopper, Balance! Please don’t trifle with me—bandying about extreme scenarios—when you fully understand the Truth of Balance.

Me: Oh, I get emotional, Dalle. This great experience of the power of your message sometimes gets the best of me. Yes, of course I must take a deep breath and regain my center. But to know the depths of my willing commitment to you—does that not have some value?

Dalle: Well, it is good that you find your own depths, Leafhopper. Yes. Exploring such avenues helps to measure the quality of your faith. That should serve you well—and should some unexpected and unsought confrontation befall you—one where you may be forced to choose to uphold my Word or to abandon it—such knowledge will guide you toward the Noble choice. But know that I always desperately seek to keep you from all harm, Leafhopper. Have I not shown you in detail, through the tale of Jebden, the lengths to which I go to wield protection for my Messengers?

Me: Dalle, you are a Spirit wise and Provident beyond measure! How I honor you!

The proposed ‘good news’ and a call for its critical review

Premise: science has now achieved a sufficient description of the ‘big picture’ so that, when the objective knowledge is combined with a modern critical understanding of the spiritual aspect of reality, it becomes possible to propose a credible and complete ‘Theory of Everything’ (TOE).

A TOE includes an explanation of the cause of our universe, but must go far beyond even that. By its very nature, a true ‘Theory of Everything’ must transcend science to also address everything that is intrinsically unknowable, even ineffable. And it must seamlessly trickle down to the nitty-gritty of daily life. It must stand the test of broad believability, even among spiritual skeptics and atheists, and it must stand up to all the experimental validation science can muster. Fundamentally, its biggest challenge is to pose a ‘first principle’ that is entirely robust. I believe that first principle takes the form of what I simply call ‘Paradox’: the ultimate compromise.

Just as Darwin argues that complex life emerged from inanimate chemistry, I argue that our complex and ordered reality arose from a primordial chaos through a step-by-step process of evolution. This is like ‘Creation ex nihilo’ only far more patient and parsed. Just as all the steps in the evolution of life have yet to be confirmed (e.g. did life begin as lipid shells, only later incorporating DNA?), many steps in the genealogy of our reality also remain to be characterized (e.g. This TOE does not unify gravity with the other forces, but it posits that the disunity may be a post facto result of ‘strong emergence’). The ‘holy grail’ of evolution is the creation of life in a test tube. Alan Guth and colleagues described a mechanism by which a whole universe can be initiated in a test tube (Nuclear Physics, 1990: B339, 417-90). Darwin’s theory is opposed by proponents of Intelligent Design. The proposed TOE not only validates a form of inanimate (DNA-like) Intelligent Design in our universe but also explains the humble origin of this Design through countless generations of ancestor universes, each subject to quantum mutations.

Because the universe’s evolutionary path is currently, if not intrinsically, beyond observation, the only physical ‘fossil’ evidence we have must be found here in our light cone. The ‘quantum froth’ and other quantum phenomena are probably the most telling early fossils.

Darwin pieced together his theory based upon a fresh revisiting of the true nature of the ‘big picture’. The same process led to understanding of other phenomena of vast time scales: Big Bang cosmology and plate tectonics, for example. In revisiting the true nature of the ‘really, really big picture’, its spiritual component, though not able to logically contribute to final written theory agreeable to physical observers, has proven to provide critical guiding signposts.

This may still be nothing more than visionary fiction or wishful thinking, so caution is in order. I present the basic elements here in two parallel forms: Part I presents a dry, straightforward ‘Q&A’; Part II is more personal—it emerges from my spiritual journey. It presents a narrative colloquy between fictional characters: a human and a spirit. In toto the intent is to achieve the Balance between spirituality and objectivity that the theory itself demands.

The purpose of this document is to circulate the proposed ideas and seek opinions. The Unitarian Universalist (UU) church is among the first places I turn, because this community is laden with thoughtful scientists and open-minded free thinkers, and because my local congregation has helped me immeasurably in formulating the theory as I followed a spiritual ‘trail of crumbs’ out of my 40-year sojourn in the wilderness of agnosticism.

If nothing else, just tell me what you don’t understand, or raise a ‘there-are-no-stupid-questions’ question! I thank you in advance for any comments you can provide.

Pete Wetzel (a.k.a. Auler Ivis)

The physical is only half of reality.

It is the realm of endlessly evolving and emergent answers.

The other half is ‘non-existence’: ineffable but essential.

It is the dominion of living questions.

This is Balance.

Balance is dynamic, not static.

And Balance is at the crux of the well-lived life.

***

Humanity’s great purpose for being is to wield reality into a more welcoming place for ourselves and our descendents, including descendent universes. The effort must be applied with Balance to all levels of reality, from our intangible cosmic communion to the most mundane daily task.

My personal purpose in life is threefold:

To probe the living questions: to glean the best way to wield reality toward the greater good

To live the answers: to witness for this Noble Course in every action and thought

And to become a worthy Ancestor: to pass on to others what I’ve learned.

***

Life and its associated self-awareness are finite.

They emerge at conception and diffuse at death—full stop.

But … our connections with all other physical things and beings are like questions.

We interrogate our world and perceive ‘answers’ (sensory stimuli) in response.

Our questions, and the acts of asking, transcend time and space.

They can have no precise locus—no sure source, no definitive target.

Thus our reach is eternal and omnipresent.

***

The questions and the answers endlessly intertwine

like currents in a great River of Truth.

As I attempt to define my own place in such a grand vision as a ‘Theory of Everything’, I feel an almost evangelical need to begin by describing the integrated world-view of Ultimate Reality that leads to it. Throughout my life I have always gravitated to the study of the ‘big picture’ at the expense of the more intimate and pastoral aspects of my daily living. What can I say? I’m a hermit at heart! Or maybe a monk? It seems inordinately important to me to first wrap my brain around the very outermost layer of things. Only then can I feel comfortable working downward through the layers to a practical personal belief system that I can apply to everyday living. I can only explain this approach to life by calling upon an analogy: I’m adhering to the spiritual equivalent of “think globally, act locally”!

I’m a scientist by training, so my world-view incorporates as much as it can from the frontiers of physics, cosmology, etc. Some of the more esoteric science can be difficult to follow. And science is definitely not the entire picture of reality: people with scientific skills are a tiny minority of the population. So I’ve chosen to bend over backwards to accommodate the spiritual elements. This informal dialogue with the Strongmother Goddess Dalle is an attempt to make the explanations of science accessible to a general audience while not losing the parallel and co-equal thread of spiritual meaning. It is a rough draft! It always will be a draft. I will gratefully accept any and all feedback from the readers. Tell me what makes sense to you and what doesn’t, what you agree with and what you find unacceptable. By voicing your opinion, by challenging me to explain myself better and to revisit my conclusions, you reaffirm the UU fourth principle—our quest for truth and meaning!

I first encountered Dalle as I worked on my long-standing unfinished novel: my life’s work. It is a story that straddles the fantasy/visionary and science fiction genres, called ‘As Heaven Fades’. As I developed the characters in this tale, and as the plot itself evolved, it became clear that the story must involve a rich cultural spirituality. Being an indifferent agnostic for more than forty years (since I rebelled as a teenager from my parents’ insistence that I attend our local Presbyterian Church every Sunday), I began to explore these fictional spiritual elements with little enthusiasm. A cosmic presence named Dalle soon emerged as the central guiding force in the spiritual growth that the protagonist, a young man named Jebden, experiences as he progresses through his adventures.

Why did an agnostic, purely secular and profane writer choose a story that finds its central truth in a spiritual theme? Why is this my life’s work? Hmmmmm … it makes one think … ! At the beginning Dalle seemed a mere curiosity to me. But as my writing proceeded, I came to understand the deep underlying real-world wisdom that this Goddess represents. I revisited a transformational realization from my youth (see ‘Understanding Infinity’ next). Then one summer morning in 2008 I had a minor epiphany that began to make the concept of this Spirit personal (The story of the garden knife). I was on the way to taking Dalle seriously!

A few months later I joined UUCC and took Rev. Paige Getty’s ‘Building Your Own Theology’ (BYOT) class. This opportunity to pursue my new spiritual journey ‘in community’ has been truly transforming. Now, as I begin to clear away the tangle of undergrowth from my path, I find that Dalle’s originally fictional message seems a far more mature and balanced real-world practical, spiritual, and moral framework than any I have previously encountered—it seems to be a complete Theory of Everything!

And so one day in the fall of 2009, I opened a formal conversation with this Goddess. The role of Leafhopper is mine, and I speak it from my heart. The words of Dalle, of course, come from (or through) me also. And yet perhaps there is something more than my personal philosophy embedded in these words. For I have come to believe that the River of Truth and The Word it bears to us do course through our veins: we are all capable of seeing and speaking the transcendent Truth by tapping the River’s currents.

This Truth is both divine and profane. Dalle teaches that we are her equal, and that She and I and all of us are integral parts of the universal message that is The Word. To Her there is an intrinsic spiritual cast to reality—co-equal with the physical. Yet Her Truth is also accessible without resorting to any religious or spiritual framework. It can be extrapolated from practical science alone. In the same way that the evidence for plate tectonics and evolution and big bang cosmology were first uncovered—starting from a proper recognition of the ‘big picture’—we must look to the manifest ‘big picture’ of ultimate reality and then work out the nitty-gritty details of the processes that led to the phenomenon.

Dalle proclaims that she is the voice of that ‘big picture’. As such you could call her the voice of “Intelligent Design”, though that term has come to be polarized in our culture. That is why Dalle replaces it with what She calls The Word. Dalle insists that She can help mortals work out the physical details that produced the mind-boggling richness of our universe ‘from scratch’ as it were.

I am a scientist, but a right-brained one. I hear Her message. Every particle of our being seeks this message even as we are bathed in it. That is curiosity. But we are spiritual beings as well—citizens in good standing of Dalle’s Pantheon of Spirits. We flow side-by-side with the Hosts of Heaven, for we are among the Gods to whom we pray. From this transcendent perspective, we can capture those aspects of the ‘big picture’ that have been hidden to science. Perhaps that is merely a romanticized representation of the human creative process. But I think the distinction is semantic only. Starting from this grand holistic view, whatever it is called, we must return to the practical in any case; and here amid the grit and distractions of daily life we must begin the grunt-work of describing the theory of the evolution of reality itself.

“Understanding Infinity”: a personal spiritual anecdote from my youth

Dalle’s River of Truth runs broad and deep. In the numbered sections that follow, I present a few of its currents as they have passed through my consciousness and into written form. But before the conversation commences, let me recount two anecdotes: first, the transforming experience of my youth that opened the gates for this dialogue—my first dip in the River …

It happened when I was about fourteen; and the memory is now so worn out from revisiting, that it boils down to a still image, almost as if it is a picture on a wall. I was sitting at a table in the library of my high school in Pennsylvania. I remember the place as being bathed in bright light, very welcoming, despite some nasty winter weather outside. In this light-filled space, I sat idly contemplating the concept of infinity, as I often did in those days. And suddenly I “got it.”

There in that welcoming library full of human wisdom, I smiled. Perhaps I sighed. It was more than an epiphany, and yet less: it was something fundamental and elemental. All I needed to do was smile and nod knowingly. Pondering the abstract mathematical concept of infinity had led me to a world-view that has permeated my being ever since. I realized that (and here’s where one’s words for the ineffable inevitably become inadequate) the infinite-nature is embedded within, not at some remote and unreachable end. And it is there to be experienced in everything around me. Suddenly whatever I touched, whatever I beheld, expressed its infinite-nature to me.

In that moment, and forever after, I understood that I am the last link of a chain that has only one end—only one! That end is not ‘now’, not ‘here’, rather it is a permeating essence—the very essence of being.

Again, if this sounds like a bunch of gibberish, it is because words, like all physically-rooted things, are only the last links, not the chain of their full meaning. Literature is full of attempts at describing this kind of transformative experience: choose the one that most clearly speaks to you.

Fast forward forty-five years or more, and I’ve expanded that simple first spiritual encounter into a full personal “theology”. It declares that I only half exist—a child of the finite world—desperately grasping the end of that chain (which I now recognize as my ‘raft’ or ‘leaf’). In equal measure I fail to exist at all, subsumed to the whole of infinity all about me as I let go and soar along the length of my chain (now envisioned as the ‘River of Truth’: the chain’s simple links have become the River’s diverse and shifting currents).

Infinity need not be profound or mystical or seething with hidden raw power. It needs no insistent agenda at all, and yet it will not go away. The inquisitive mind forever seeks it.

Infinity is not a place you can get to—not, that is, until you let it get to you. And then it is a place that you come from. You gaze back now, incredulous at all the superficial stuff of the finite world, and marvel at the sheer tenuousness and ephemeral nature of the reality that such end-things must contend with. Herein lays the true wonder: that of the great wealth and complexity that these half-existing finite things have managed to accrue.

Given all the wealth and diversity of material existence in our universe, it is not surprising that people are quick to cast stones of doubt at the role of the infinite in their lives. It would seem that our world has transcended the need for such an intangible foundation. When I get too caught up in my worldly life—when its complexities and pains begin to well up and overwhelm me—I have to remind myself that, by taking all these things around me to be fully real, I am casting my own stones of doubt. On what basis do I think that the rock I cast will even approach the target, when my first premise—the one that leads me to choose a rock of doubt—has no preeminence? Why have I used that precious fleeting moment of bending groundward to pick up a stone of condemnation when I could instead plant a seed of gratefulness? The ground at my feet bears a mighty burden. I should thank it for holding me up.

“The lost garden knife”: A recent personal spiritual anecdote

The anecdote starts with a quote from my novel. The setting is, appropriately, on a River. We see a non-human character teaching a lesson to the protagonist, Jebden, as they row their kayak down the channel together in a time 635,000 years in the future. The teacher, whose name is Purgatory, is from a superior, post-human species known as the Irula, or Sudra, derived from the lowest caste of Hindu culture. Purgatory is teaching Jebden what he knows about the Goddess Dalle, whom he calls ‘Naja’. The lesson goes like this:

Not long after I wrote this passage, I was in my garden working to liberate some little seedlings from knee-high weeds in a neglected corner. I was seated on the ground alternatively yanking plants up by the roots and cutting the more stubborn ones off at ground level with an old paring knife. As I am wont to do, when temporarily finished using the knife, I tossed it aside carelessly as I attacked a particularly peeving weed that I intended to uproot. With that task done I turned again to look for the knife. Lost! I had flung it into the untamed thickets without looking. It had surely settled deep under the growth. Under my breath I cursed my stupidity and began to search. For long minutes I scoured and combed the brush to no avail—to the point of angry, frustrated exhaustion. I hate losing things, particularly in the heat of an unfinished task. I sat back dejectedly and took a deep breath.

Then suddenly I recalled Purgatory’s lesson: “Become the flow that has already filled your stomach.” Why not? I was ready to give up the search anyhow. Try merging with the currents that had already found the knife. I cleared my mind and breathed deeply again, trying to allow the flow to bring me beside the knife.

I turned; and there it was—literally the first thing my eyes focused on in that very instant, resting in a place that I thought I had already thoroughly scoured!

It was at that moment that I finally sensed that I was being guided toward some meaningful real-life purpose by these innocuous paper characters and by their underlying paper Spirits. These were no fictional constructs; and the words that I was writing no longer seemed original. Dalle had pulled off the consummate ‘bait and switch’!

“Gotcha, Leafhopper, you doddering old hermit!”

“Dalle? Dalle! If I invoke your name, as Jebden did, will you actually answer me?”

“Yes! Of course I will! … I am Dalle … I am happy to awaken to any voice that calls out to me… who are you?”

“I am a humble writer. My pen name is Auler Ivis.”

“Welcome! We share the same pangs of loneliness, young one. It would be good for us to talk. You are an isolated raindrop descending from a veil of cloud. There! The drop has come to rest on a little floating leaf on my River. It is time to talk.”

“A rich metaphor, Dalle. I accept it. I found you as I wrote ‘As Heaven Fades’. You described Jebden as ‘the snowflake that started an avalanche’. So I am honored to be a raindrop, even if it only alights on a leaf. I have many questions for you, Dalle. May I ask them?”

“Of course.”

“Wonderful! First of all, who or what are you, entity called Dalle? Are you something more than just a ‘pen name’ on paper, like my own?”

“More than a name? No, I am less. I am only the shape of things. I am like memory: the common Ancestor of all that is real and all that can be known. And I am also the messenger from beyond the veil of the unknown. Leafhopper, I am like the voice that speaks from a book: the silent voice of The Word.”

“Then you are God!”

“Men call many things God, Leafhopper. I am one of these. I am Strongmother, the one who bore reality into existence. I am Spirit of the River of Truth: its voice and its form.”

“Your name, ‘Dalle’: it comes from a Western term signifying a Channel …”

“It is a good name for us to use, because I am the channel that gives The Word direction. I am not The Word itself, but a servant to it and a product of it.”

“Then you are not God!”

“Is there room for only one God, Leafhopper? Don’t you humans also listen to the Spirits of your Ancestors?”

“Yes, many of us listen to them, though I’m not comfortable calling them Spirits, not even the pre-emptive one called the God. My ancestors’ ‘voices’ exist in my DNA, their legacy is embedded in the teachings and traditions of the culture into which I emerged. It is foolish to ignore the wisdom of the Elders.”

“There … see? The Ancestors’ currents flow through you and direct you: a River of Truth. I am an Ancestor also, as are the diverse Spirits that have been called ‘God’. You are Leafhopper, a worthy future Ancestor as well!”

“Leafhopper … I like that name, Dalle. But what does it signify? Are you implying that God is just one leaf that I might choose to rest on?”

“Your Leaf floats upon the surface of my River along with many others. Most leaves host your fellow mortals. But yes, the God of your Abrahamic tradition has betimes taken to riding a leaf. Yet He has also delved deeply into the River’s currents: so deeply as to encompass all its Truth. I, Dalle, make no pretense of encompassing all Truth; rather I am the shepherd of Truth. You, Leafhopper, call this leaf your raft, and you feel secure there, but it limits your connection with my currents. Someday you may also choose to swim. Then you will experience the currents more fully. With time you will realize, as God does, that you are the currents. The Word would teach you to swim. I am Its voice and Its source of direction: I will speak The Word plainly to you, so you might understand and grow and expand the bounds of your being.”

“But Dalle, why do I need you … or any Spirit claiming to speak to me with a voice? It seems childish to ascribe human characteristics to the grandest ultimate mysteries of existence … when they may not even have a conscious presence!”

“You are right to ask this. No, you do not need my voice. But does it not help you to focus? Most men find my voice comforting: Through my voice I make navigation of the great River easier for the human mind to understand. I find your voice very comforting, Leafhopper!”

“Hmmm … well, I suppose by comparison to the ultimate reality, whatever it may be, we humans must seem childish at best! OK … so tell me: how can something that might be purely inanimate acquire a useful and credible voice?”

“This is part of the message we must explore together, Leafhopper: the emergent message of The Word. The Word is the essential inanimate plan, or design, which enables my voice and gives it authority.”

“Authority? Real authority? Absolute authority? Unquestioned authority?”

“Real? Yes, my authority is as real and absolute as anything gets, Leafhopper. But unquestioned? Never. Do not ever stop questioning! That is the greatest mistake men make.”

“Well, I like the last part that message, Dalle. But I don’t see why it had to come from a Spirit voice. For me it is common sense to question things, including your existence! Some of my friends will laugh at me if I claim to be talking to Spirits. Some people would say I’m just plain out of my mind! If I do not need you, Dalle, then why should I use you? Why acknowledge you at all? I can live my life day to day, as my friends do. I can do the right thing and become wise without relying on some intangible, unprovable underlying consciousness.”

“You certainly can follow that current, Leafhopper. And it may serve you well. The Word will patiently prod you from deep within, and you may find Truth without my guiding voice. But consider how lonely this path is. Humans connect with their world not just with their own senses, but through rich interaction with their fellow men—with the community. It is through community that the power of Voices comes forth. Would not your friends laugh or pity you if you were to become a hermit—a recluse?”

“Of course!”

“Then use my voice to connect you with the greatest community, Leafhopper: the collective community of the Hosts—all of your Ancestors tracing back even beyond the origin of this universe. My voice and my authority are available tools of The Word, Leafhopper, just as your senses are tools, just as your body and mind are tools. Let all the tools work for you as you seek to better your life. While your physical senses can only grope toward truth, I can speak it to you plainly. Put me to the test. My message is that the surest way to better your life is to seek The Word—the collected wisdom of all of your Ancestors—because that is the path to the richest, most rewarding life that it is possible to live.”

“OK, Dalle. You make a case for me to listen to your voice. You claim that this spiritual ‘sense’, within which your voice is heard, is a tool that is as useful as my physical senses.”

“Well put, Leafhopper.”

“Then let’s put your ‘voice’ to the test, as you challenge me to do. Give me some of the plain talk you promise. You keep coming back to this mysterious, supposedly primal thing that you call The Word, right? Well, then the obvious first question is: ‘What is The Word?”

“Yes, YES, young Leafhopper! Ask this question! It is the purest and most glorious of prayers! Ask it incessantly, ponder it, study it, pray to receive guidance, probe every experience for answers, examine it with the tools of science, listen for it within your heart. To ask this question is the purest course that my channel provides: the course that leads to fulfillment, to all that is good, to all that we would hope to bequeath to our descendents: a reality that shall be even better than our own!”

“Whoa, slow down, Dalle! You call that plain talk? In your excitement, you’ve left me drifting alone here. I asked what is this entity called The Word, and you respond as if … as if the question is the answer? That’s no plain talk, that’s enigma!”

“Sorry, Leafhopper. It is true that the question is the answer, but that is a little obtuse; and I do promise to speak The Word to you plainly. It’s just that when I hear this simplest of invocations it stirs me to my depths! Prayer is my being, Leafhopper: it awakens my passion and my purpose. In its most elemental form, The Word is indeed a call to prayer or contemplation: a call to focus on this thing that made us. The Word made us and it forever seeks our hearts so that we may understand its ongoing guidance.”

“Well, then it’s obvious where you’re headed: you would claim that The Word is God!”

“Yes, but no! I already told you that The Word is inanimate. Yet in one of the greatest imaginable manifestations of the name of ‘God’, that can be your answer. But it is a dangerous answer, Leafhopper. It is dangerous if it leads you away from continuing to ask the question. Do not settle upon this leaf, I beg you! If you choose this answer, then the undying question “What is The Word?” must become “What is God?” And then you must plumb God’s depths ceaselessly. No answer can truly end your outreaching quest for communion with God. Your probing for the deeper currents must never end. And it is not just because God’s depths are infinite and unfathomable: they are also endlessly evolving. The River of Truth ever flows and is not fixed.

“By expressing it in this way, Dalle, you place the quest on familiar ground, at least for devout believers. Many great religious traditions from Hindu through Islam to Christianity see the probing of, or touching the essence or nature of God as the greatest calling. Even Buddhism aspires to this, if we replace the name of God with the concept of Enlightenment.”

“Ah, yes. And I very much appreciate the Buddhist symbolism of the raft on the River, Leafhopper—it is your leaf!”

“Dalle, something you just said struck me. These great religious traditions all pray or meditate as the means to probe their God. You said that prayer is your being. Does prayer mold you into a form? How does my ‘voice’ of prayer translate to your voice with which I am conversing?”

“Ahhh … you have already answered this question for yourself, my wise Leafhopper. Mine is an Ancestral voice that already echoes in your depths. That spiritual ‘sense’ of yours uses prayer to tap the echoes. If you don’t like the word ‘prayer’, then substitute ‘pondering’ or ‘comtemplation’ or ‘study’. Yes, I’d say prayer is the simplest way to touch me—to ‘activate’ me if you will. Answered prayer is just this: you hear the voice of your Ancestors within your conscience. It emerges from your sub-conscious and leads you by instinct. It cries out to you from your native culture. And it sings like a choir of angels from the mystery and majesty of the world surrounding you. It batters you with suffering. It uplifts you with joy and wonderment.”

“And you are the most fundamental Ancestor: the First?”

“Not the first. The first is lost beyond an infinity of veils. I am the first to emerge into this reality that you and I share. It is time for some of the plain talk I promised you, Leafhopper.”

“My spiritual ‘sense’ is all ears!”

“Ha! Well said! OK, then … I am she who bore The Word into this world. The Word is the entirety of the design of your reality: this particular universe as it is presented before you. That includes its purpose and its dynamic direction. The analogy of your own mortal body applies here: Just as DNA is literally a written message from your Ancestors, and is an integral part of the design that shaped you and set you in a certain direction, The Word is the explicit message that set this reality in motion out of the veil of beginning: the birth event you call the “Big Bang”. Just as your body formed, step by step, from a primordial cell following the directives of DNA, this universe grew from a small seed and sprouted matter and light and galaxies and life in response to the directives of The Word. Just as your being and your consciousness seem to your mind like a mystery emerging from an impenetrable veil, thus is the way of our living universe as a whole.”

“My mind cannot explain why I am me: why I am here in this particular place at this time. Yet my cause—the process that brought my physical being into existence—is clear and well known. Dalle, do you claim that the cause of the Big Bang is clear? Do you know it?”

“Listen to the voice of your Ancestors, Leafhopper. What they know you also know!”

“Dalle, don’t play games with me. I am earnestly listening to you. You claim to be my primal Ancestor here in this universe. My heart is open. I am giving you the opportunity to show me what I supposedly know but what is veiled from my awareness. I am begging for more plain talk!”

“And you shall have it. Your scientists have explored these questions and they have read the answers that emerge from the mathematics that is an embedded property of this reality. This is what they find: universes have means by which they can reproduce. Our universe is capable of producing children, dear Leafhopper!”

“And so we are the child of a previous universe?”

“Yes. Our direct Ancestor, overseen by my Strongmother Vesper.”

“Whoa, TMI Dalle. Let’s leave Vesper for later. How does the birth of a universe happen?”

“In broad strokes, the science is this: A seed leaves the parent universe in the form of a concentration of matter/energy, about an ounce in mass equivalent. Through quantum tunneling the seed literally turns space-time “inside-out” so that the reverse curvature separates it from the parent universe, like a drop of water leaving a dripping faucet. The bulge of the new droplet takes the form of something called “false vacuum”. The tail, where the droplet broke off from the parent universe, consists of a little fragment of “true vacuum”, or ordinary space-time. The “false vacuum” has properties that make it instantly expand—inflate—into an entire universe full of stuff. And the tiny fragment of “true vacuum” that is dragged along with it is the “DNA”: the template for the myriad laws and constants of physical reality, usually mutated slightly from the parent universe by quantum processes. When inflation finishes, the vast new assemblage of stuff re-unites with the tiny bit of true vacuum that came along for the ride. As I said, the true vacuum retained the finely tuned laws of the parent universe, The Word; and this template, or design, now spreads outward into the new stuff like a cascade as the stuff’s phase changes from false to true vacuum. Thereby, the stuff assumes a form that is nearly identical to the parent universe.

“I’ve heard of ‘inflation’, Dalle: it’s the first thing we understand about the Big Bang.”

“And on the other side of the inflation stands the ‘dripping faucet’ from the River of Truth: your Ancestor and my Mother: our parent universe.”

“Wow! So there we have it: our Universe has a family tree!”

“This is my plain message, Leafhopper: This is the first element of The Word that I bear to you from beyond the veil of the Big Bang.”

“‘In the beginning was The Word.’ You give that passage of scripture a new meaning, Dalle! So what was the beginning of The Word itself? How far back can you trace the Ancestry of our universe?”

“My Ancestors do not line up before me and recite the order of their lineage, Leafhopper. Much is shrouded in the grand succession of veils. I am no more omniscient than you are. I must glean what I can from The Word just as you must.”

“Well, then let me take the lead here: Scientific logic and reason claim that all order can be deconstructed. In the end, this line of thinking points to nothing more than random chance as the so-called ‘cause’ of all things. By this logic, The Word should have somehow emerged from pure indifferent and impersonal chaos. Of course if that is truly the case, then even human logic and reason have no claim to authority for explaining anything.”

“Indeed, that fundamental Paradox is the guidance of The Word as well, Leafhopper. But even a random origin turns out to be a profound one: full of intrigue. The Ancestors understand that the ‘authority’ of science and also that of my being, are not trivial at all. They are real: but they were emergent properties, not original ones. As you have said, you do not know why your consciousness was placed in that particular body among the billions of human bodies alive today, or how it found placement at all, and yet you can explain and understand your physical cause. In the same way, authority, and indeed meaning itself, does not need a reason for being in order to have a cause.”

“Are you going to go mystical on me, Dalle? Wave wands? Or are you claiming that there is a logical, step-by-step process from which authority and meaning emerge from chaos?”

“No wands, Leafhopper. Randomness naturally begets necessary properties. Here’s an example from our reality: in chemistry primordial atoms randomly join to form random molecules. But some of the resulting molecules statistically live longer than others. The long lived molecules necessarily dictate a bias in the next step of chemical interactions, no longer perfectly random. The long-lived molecules dominate: they exert control—authority. That next step creates more complex molecules with yet more inherent authority to dictate future steps. And so the tale begins …”

“I see, Dalle! Randomness accidentally begets order … because it cares not to prevent it, and because any requirement of perfect, immutable and absolute randomness that it might seek to impose on reality is in fact a form order itself. It can’t help itself!”

“See? You have the knowledge. You are a sublime deity, my friend Leafhopper! I bow down to you!”

“Ha! Not so fast with the reverence, Dalle! Let me see if I understand correctly now: Out of the random indifference of beginning, real and meaningful authority has emerged: the power to dictate outcomes. Was God then an emergent entity rather than an original one? Are you?”

“Yes. Beyond Paradox, there is no first principle, no primal authority. We have all emerged, you and God and I and all the great Hosts of Heaven: your Ancestors all. We arose from the dust. But I haven’t yet spoken of the true intrigue that entwines this tale, Leafhopper.”

“Then please go on.”

“With the authority that emerged with us and was bestowed upon us we can wield not just outcomes, but origins as well. Because time does not constrain us, we can wield the stuff from whence we came! That is the marvel of what your philosophers call ‘strong emergence’. I hope to impress on you that this emergent power is no mystical abracadabra. It is science, it is necessity, and it is the essence of our observed reality.”

“Strong emergence? You … we … wield the stuff that made us!? Dalle, if I understand correctly, you seem to be claiming that our emergent authority actually controls the reality of our existence? Do you really claim that we can change reality?”

“It is not a change as in a rewriting of a fact. If we attempt to explicitly change observed reality then the time travel paradoxes fend us off. No, we shape elements of past reality that had not yet been shaped, or that have lost their shape through the destructive forces of chaos. It is like molding unformed clay. Not only can we do this, but we must if we are to avoid fading back into the primal chaos ourselves, Leafhopper. Our wielding in the name of the greater good is our highest calling: it is how the wealth and richness of this reality came into being. It is the endless sustaining, impelling, and transcending work of the Community of the Ancestors, and it is the noblest aspiration of all mortal men.”

“SEEKSIT: my current-Soul’s Emergent Evolving Knowledge Sustains, Impels and Transcends. This acronym comes right from words in ‘As Heaven Fades”, Dalle. A simple haiku came to me, and I’m betting that you already know it—that you wrote it:

“You claim that I, Dalle, left this poem for you? Leafhopper, even the greatest of my Ancestors could not wield the physical world in such a specific way as to conjure up a succession of English words on piece of paper!”

“Maybe not directly, Dalle, but don’t be coy. Our literature is full of Spirits wielding authority through mortal agents who listen to them, for good and for evil. If there is any truth to such legends, then I venture that your authority and your wielding did indeed lead to the appearance that haiku!”

“Legend can carry elements of the Truth, Leafhopper. I do not deny wielding the figurative hand that brings us together here today.”

“But forgive me, Dalle, I still need more plain explanations. I want to know the mechanism of strong emergence: how can such a transformational wielding possibly be accomplished? How can one fashion one’s own origin?”

“Your scientists have achieved this knowledge, Leafhopper. In the quantum description of reality, each entity, for all time and in all space, is represented by a field that reaches across and interacts with the fields of all other entities … for all time and in all space. The key property of quantum reality, the one that allows our wielding to affect our origins, is that quantum nature transcends time: the equations describe all time simultaneously.”

“And so any influence we have—this thing you call ‘wielding’—is not limited to the future …”

“Exactly, Leafhopper. And now let me explain the precise mechanism of ‘wielding’. Your scientists understand that causation, the description of reality, is suspended, as if beyond a veil, until an experiment is performed and the sentient observer records the result and stores it as knowledge. Do you understand? Knowledge—intrinsic Truth—is suspended beyond recognition until we form it as a product of our directed, focused study and pondering and experimentation: that is our wielding. We choose what to observe—or what to pray about—and our choices originate the Knowledge.”

“Truth itself is emergent! Can I therefore say that before I was born nothing existed?”

“Well, you definitely could … but then you burden yourself with the daunting task of clearly specifying what the ‘I’ is that was born. Does it include the currents of your Ancestors? How wide a net do you cast upon the River before you ensnare your total self? Or alternatively, do you take upon your shoulders the burden of responsibility for the fate of all things?”

“Ahhh, I think I begin to see, Dalle. It is best to acknowledge the contributions of the great Community of the Hosts rather then to try to ‘reinvent the wheel’. It is more balanced to say that the observations—the wieldings—done by the Ancestors shaped great swaths of reality before my body arrived. The Word comes to me already well formed.”

“Well put. The Word is the great transcendent body of knowledge passed to our universe. As such, it is like a pre-packaged imprint that has tuned our universe, making it the warm and welcoming place that enables life and consciousness, prayer and effective wielding.”

“Hmmmmm … so … as I sit here on my leaf, casting my net outward into the River of Truth, I also am wielding reality as I learn. I bring back many things, Dalle. Some I recognize: they helped to form me; some are new to me. And on some I see my own imprint: things that my own experience has wielded and then woven into my perceptions, whether they are true to anyone else or not.”

“And you are responsible to sort these currents for the greatest Truth, Leafhopper. This is why the endless questioning is critical. And it points to the value of the wisdom of community. For the Ancestors collected these things as well. The Word is the sum of all collected Truth, the entirety of the River’s substance. Yet our choices refine it—we strive to seek the Noble Channel from among the many currents. We may eschew other currents and let them dwindle. As long as The Word that we focus on most has been wisely wielded and passed forward, the reality it has captured remains good, and thus the currents do not dissipate.”

“By ‘good’ you merely mean adventitious to our continued, or improved, existence.”

“Yes, I will accept that, Leafhopper; though the ‘our’ in your sentence is grander and more complex than you can probably imagine. But, yes, ‘good’ is indeed about the quality of existence. Always we add to the body of Knowledge about what works toward this ‘good’. This is the essence of our wielding: choices about what to focus our energy on, what to observe, what to contemplate, on what concerns to exert our outreaching prayer: these choices influence the shape of reality itself.”

“And from this I presume that animals, even plants—in fact all life and all matter—partake in the wielding, and in the formation of what we sense as being ‘good’.”

“This is true. But remember, Leafhopper, consciousness gives us a marvelous advantage. It allows us to effectively focus on The Word and discriminate among its currents in abstract ways that go far beyond immediate physical need.”

“It enables us to talk to Dalle!”

“Woot! There you have it!”

“… knowledge of good and evil, eh?”

“That is the advantage. We choose to avoid certain currents that we judge as ‘evil’, and by collectively and diligently doing so we effectively quarantine these currents so that they gradually return to the restless stillness of random and indifferent chaos. We choose New Truth from that we recognize as ‘good’, and these Truths join the River. The Word evolves, and, with wise guidance, it grows stronger. The Noble choices we make change the River’s currents. For in the end we are the River and we wield the River; and the River ever flows onward and does not fade.”

“Which is why you want me to jump off my leaf and swim with you …”

“I seek to help you take that leap, but only when you are ready, young Leafhopper.”

“Well, I am trying to understand these things, kind Dalle. But this is such an enormous message: it’s hard for me to wrap my brain around it all.”

“The Word is infinitely patient, young Leahopper. It makes no demands. Remember that it seeks you endlessly: even more so when your heart seeks It. Even when you are weary, you can pray the simple prayer: ‘Who are you, Dalle? Talk to me! What is The Word?’ And I will be there. You’ll feel the currents’ tug.”

“But Dalle, my inquisitive mind keeps taking me back to this ‘strong emergence’. This is the toughest pill for me to swallow. What evidence points to this power to wield our own origin?”

“Beyond the evidence that scientists and mathematicians provide through their quantum analysis and experimentation?”

“Hmmm … well, I suppose I am really hoping for something more ‘in my face’—something explicit that I could see in daily life. If wielding is an action that lies beyond the limitations of time’s arrow, why are we continuing to talk about ‘before’ and ‘after’?”

“Because time has not been abolished by strong emergence, Leafhopper. Remember that ‘strong’ emergence is far from ‘omnipotent’ emergence. The focus of our authority—our wielding—is imperfect, especially so when directed toward our own past. We exercise fallible judgment as to what to try to influence and how to try to affect it. We do not focus every ounce of our energy on every wielding.”

“So the effects we have on the past are hazy, nebulous, and limited? Honestly, Dalle, that sounds like a cop-out.”

“Leafhopper, unless you choose to bypass the understanding gleaned by science—unless you choose to make a direct leap from the Paradox of absurd votive absolutes immune from the need for Balance directly to the present state of our universe—then I think it’s clear that some internal force has altered the reality from which we emerged. To me this is self-evident, but I claim that it is not entirely a circular argument, because the original unaltered raw material still surrounds us. You and I have together witnessed the profound indifference of the chaos that came before and exists beyond our emergent wielding. This chaos still dominates vast tracts of our reality as its destructive and damping forces forever gnaw at the fringes of the great River of Truth. So this primal cauldron is there for us to inspect and compare with the richness of the ‘Sacred Space’ that we have wielded and ensconced within protective channels. The River’s currents proceed with intense momentum, Leafhopper! Whence such momentum from raw turbulence without a strong emergent force or alliance? Whence the ability to stay the chaos and keep it at bay with such astounding success? I can offer no more than the stark and profound contrast between initial and final states as my evidence, Leafhopper. It must suffice.”

“Well, it was only by recognizing the possibility of a step-by-step transition from initial to final state that Darwin perceived evolution. It was only by recognizing the great patterns that science worked out the mechanisms of plate tectonics. It was only through diligent observation of the clues that the big bang has left behind that we begin to recognize it. But Dalle, my restless logical mind still wants to come back and question the emergence of emergence!”

“I thought we had addressed that, Leafhopper. It is not a problem if Paradox is the first principle.”

“Huffff! My poor mind is overloading! OK, I yield to the Balance of Yin and Yang for now, Dalle. If randomness is the proper order, then order must have its day. And for now I will refrain from asking: ‘whence Paradox?’ I’m sure we’ll get back to this topic. Meanwhile, this far-from-omnipotent wielding of our past and of our origins seems to leave me a clear message: despite any such wielding, we are still heavily burdened by the chains of time and space.”

“Oh, indeed we are, Leafhopper. The current of time is the property that allows the River of Truth to have direction at all. We would not want the power of such a perfect wielding that we could eradicate time! That is not where Balance takes us. Rather it takes us to a dynamic frontier where our conscious influence can forever confront the corrosive decay of chaos.”

“Dalle, for the sake of argument at least, I will grant that you have this emergent authority and cannot be deconstructed because you have altered the reality from which you emerged. I am still left wondering about the nature of the Ancestral being I am talking to. What was your form as you emerged into this universe? What tag, what necessarily coherent morsel of stuff, did the little dab of true vacuum carry with it in the seed of our universe that, after your strong emergence, became you?”

“Tag? Morsel? I was and am River Goddess: proprietor of the River of Truth.”

“That is not a form, it is a title! Do you not know who you are, Dalle?”

“What a belittling question from one so young! I claim no inherent form, Leafhopper. Look to yourself for a satisfactory image if you need to see a form. Didn’t God claim to manifest the human image? I thought that was a rather nice accommodation. Leafhopper, I am your equal and His. See in me what you will. I depend on your prayer for my sustenance as much as you depend on my transmission of The Word for your being. Pray to my formless Title and you awaken me within yourself.”

“That’s it? You would have me pray to a disembodied thought? Then I can argue that you are nothing but a figment of a rich human imagination!”

“Oh? Then why did you see fit to grant me emergent authority?”

“For the sake of argument only, Dalle. Did you forget I said that? I don’t plan to get sucked in by another religious con job! Enough of this pussyfooting! If you are no mystical hocus-pocus, then why don’t you just show yourself, mighty one? Is it because you are nothing but a slithering snake in the grass? Come out from behind your shadowy veil and be seen!”

“Here I am! I stand in plain view, little one. It is you who does not come out from behind your clouded self-concept—your inadequate corporeal veil—to behold me. You seek the form in me? Well, I seek the Spirit in you! Have you ever used the term ‘my mind’? The idea invokes a director and a thing directed. Tell me this: Who is that director that wields his mind? EXACTLY what are you, Leafhopper? Pinpoint for me the coordinates of the precise source that gives me the answer. What expanse did your Spirit travel to get to these coordinates? Did you measure the steps it took? Does your source of being have legs to take such steps? Why were you chosen to stand here before me wrapped in a veil of semi-consciousness making rude assertions rather than some random human named ‘Nobody’? Leafhopper indeed! Shall I call you ‘Nobody’ and erase you from the register of the Pantheon? What are you but your title, picayune one? Puh-leeez! Why don’t you just go and take this ‘Nobody’’s place and dwell where you belong: forever in the dim recesses of non-existence?”

“Because that’s precisely where I’d find you, Dalle: in the dim recesses of non-existence! I don’t know why I’ve bothered. What you seek in me—some transcendent Spirit—does not exist. Why, then do I continue this futile monologue. Go away now and be gone from me!”

“Oh, listen to the little Leafhopper! He speaks to phantoms and then denies them! Lost your marbles, Leafhopper? Missing a few cards from the deck?”

“Nope. Got all fifty-two. No Jokers either!”

“Oh, cute!”

“I mean it. I’m too old for imaginary friends, Dalle.”

“The River is older.”

“Pfffft!”

“You know that song: ‘Old Man River’? He just keeps rollin’ along … Does the song bring a picture to your mind?”

“The Mississippi River. So what?”

“That’s my form, then.”

“Rivers don’t talk.”

“No. Their currents just tug. Always restless. Always going somewhere. Feel the tug?”

“Look. You have a face, Dalle. OK? I see a face when I picture you.”

“A kindly face, I hope. A loving one?”

“After all that crap you just spewed at me? ‘Lost your marbles, Leafhopper?’ Hardly.”

“Very well. Guilty as charged. I’m sorry I came unglued like that, Leafhopper. It just frustrates me so much when people demand things of their Ancestors that they don’t expect from themselves. We Ancestors give our all to make you better than us! You ask to see me, yet you cannot even truly see yourself! I hope you can forgive me this failing: I should know better. Leafhopper, I don’t want to be still and lonely again, not ever. I want to stay awake … I want to keep talking to you.”

“Why me? You’ve got the whole universe …”

“I told you. I seek the Spirit in you. I can’t help it. Your prayer—your simple act of recognizing me—is my fundamental being.”

“And I told you: I don’t have that kind of Spirit.”

“What kind of Spirit do you think I’m seeking? What kind do you have?”

“Well … I have the life force: I think they call it the ‘animating principle’; but that could just be a set of wired neurons. I have the … whatever it is that makes me self-aware and conscious. Again, that …”

“Bingo! Stop right there.”

“That’s it? … Dalle?”

“Yep! That’s it! If you can distinguish the forces at work on your body and mind as being external entities—if you can contemplate the being of an agent beyond yourself—then you can name these external things. Among them comes ‘Dalle and her Hosts in Heaven’. That’s all I am, Leafhopper. That’s my form!”

“But those forces at work on my body and mind all have physical explanations. They aren’t spooky Ancestral voices.”

“Are you sure? There’s that reductionism again: such a peculiar Western form of blind faith. But it doesn’t matter, Leafhopper. Keep that faith. It is a valid part of the quest. Just do not close the door to the possibility that you can wield all those external forces through me: even those that science does not understand or may never fully demystify. It’s our emergent partnership. We wield the timeless quantum fields.”

“OK, Dalle. Then it’s time for some more plain talk. Tell me about this wielding. What can your wielding really accomplish? Can it cure my Uncle’s cancer?”

“It can. But it does not usually happen in the way you might imagine. Do you understand the full scope of the Balance between your Uncle’s suffering and the blessings that have been bestowed upon him? He has lived for seventy-nine years, Leafhopper! Your Aunt is healthy and loves him. Who, but the Ancestors, have protected her from cancer? Darn it, both of them were privileged to be granted the mysterious gift of existence in the first place, as you are. What the Ancestors have done for your Uncle is to forge a universe capable of hosting life, to grant his planet protection from the brutal cosmic forces of destruction, to protect his species from annihilation, to forge a strength in him that could stave off this disease for seventy-nine years! Isn’t that enough? Do you really demand more? If you do, you may pray for him earnestly—reach out to the Hosts—and together we will wield the world’s substance as best we can. Reality will alter, just a little—far less than what science could detect as ‘statistically significant’—and perhaps he lives to be eighty. With neglect he might have died at seventy-eight. Who can point to the source of that change? But who can definitively deny it?”

“Well, I get your point. If there had been a scientist present at the Big Bang, observing all the matter and anti-matter annihilating itself, his experiments would conclude that no statistically significant amount of matter would survive. The most meticulous and diligent scientist would have been 99.999999% confident of this! And on that basis he would have written off our entire universe as void of matter and therefore trivial and meaningless. Whether we claim that the directed wielding of The Word led to the tiny imbalance that created all the matter in the universe, or whether it was just the ‘luck of the draw’, its presence is self-evident in retrospect.”

“There you go. Effects too small to detect can have gravid consequences. And it often takes a very broad view of the ‘big picture’ before we can recognize and understand them. That is the lesson, Leafhopper.”

“ … But why torture new-born babies, Dalle? What about birth defects?”

“Suffering is the challenge that faces the Ancestors endlessly. I told you, Leafhopper, that I am not omnipotent, not any more than you are. The Word has manifested a reality where the price of the greater good is sometimes suffering. A mutation may cause a birth defect. A comet crashing down upon your planet may destroy many species. But to allow for the emergence of humankind and his sentient powers, natural disasters and mutations have proven a worthy course among the River’s currents. I cannot give any more satisfying answer than that.”

“Dalle, what if I pray for a world in which all mutations are good ones …”

“Well said! Then you play your part in wielding reality toward that aim. You observe an injustice, and you devoutly and earnestly seek the Noble course to correct it. That is the endless work of the Ancestors.”

“Then a child born with a hopelessly defective heart is a call for men to pray for the greater good. It still hurts so desperately … the poor parents … but I think I understand.”

“It is that endless quest for good, the Noble Course, that sustains The Word, Leafhopper. If we are not reminded of our aspirations for the greater good through suffering, we might neglect to wield our prayer. Then The Word would slowly begin to decay, to dwindle, and to fall into disrepair. As I said, we would not want to achieve such a perfect wielding. All purpose would vanish!”

“Well, Dalle, you’ve been very accommodating to me. You’ve let me give you a human face. In ‘As Heaven Fades’ you even assume a kind of body, like a serpent’s, with tail that fades into the veil of the unknown or with no other end at all. I can see your long flowing hair entwining this body, like the braided currents of a river, and actually blending into or forming the veil at a great distance. Does this vision make you cringe?”

“I do not cringe at all, Leafhopper! I smile! I like my new clothes. Maybe they will attract more people to ponder me, even to wake up to me. I’d love to talk with them the way I’m talking with you.”

“So tell me more about the origin of our universe. My culture’s religious tradition describes it in the biblical book of Genesis. So how would you re-write that book, Dalle?”

“Oh, I don’t think I’d change much, Leafhopper. Remember, those writers tapped The Word as well as anyone. Maybe I’d add some material between the third and fourth words.”

“‘In the beginning … God …’ Hmmmmm … What would you add?”

“Well, we’ve already touched on it. I’ll try to make it as plain as I can: The world began as the essential Zen-like koan—a seemingly absurd question seeking an answer that is beyond reason. In the beginning the fundamental Paradox prevailed: Yin-Yang duality, the teetering dynamic essential Balance, the restless compromise. In the beginning, before the great side shows emerged and Gods created worlds, there existed only this simple mystery: What is the ‘Thing’ made of ‘Nothing’?”

“OK, in the beginning there was nothing. So how did the first thing emerge?”

“No, Leafhopper, you must be more precise in your vision: in the beginning, yet transcending all time, there was a conflicting, balancing duality: neither physical nothingness nor primal entity. Its Object-nature is called “Thing”. Its Spirit-nature is called “Nothing”. These two nemeses were (and still are) locked in a primal battle. In balance, each of these perfections insists on having its way with reality, so each never permits the other to fully exist: they straddle the veil between being and non-being. ‘Nothing’ can forever feel ‘Thing’ corrupting its perfect vacancy: dissembling it from within by forming nascent little bits: little sub-entities trying to break free of the perfect connectedness that prevents things from being. ‘The Thing’ keeps sensing its solidity violated at its fringes by little forces of destruction, trying to open a dialogue of connectedness with something beyond that would diminish the perfect autonomy of its being. Both sides blame the other for conjuring these little bits to disturb their quietude.”

“You’re talking about the quantum froth, aren’t you: the virtual particles that spontaneously pop into existence in pairs—out of a perfect vacuum—and then quickly annihilate each other?”

“I am indeed. The vacuum is necessarily a restless place because the rest state of nothingness (a uniform field of particle location everywhere) is the most energetic physical state of particles (things), and the rest state of “A Thing” (zero temperature, with no presence anywhere but at a point) is the most energetic state of a particle’s quantum field.”

“Then there can be no rest! Fundamentally! This is unsettling, Dalle.”

“Do not be unsettled. You could see it in that negative way if you choose to, Leafhopper: In the beginning was endless irresolvable primal conflict. Or you could see the glory: In the beginning was incorruptible Balance.”

“If the basis of all things is Paradox, then I must see it both ways in equal measure, eh?”

“Oh, wise Leafhopper, I again bow before you. You humble me with your insight.”

“Dalle … I just had a thought. Are your Spirit World and my Material World opposites in this primal Yin-Yang battle and balance?”

“It would seem appropriate, Leafhopper. I spoke of the Spirit-nature called ‘Nothing’ and the Object-nature called ‘Thing’. I am Spirit, you are Object. Our conversation transcends time and space, so it must trace all the way back to the beginning.”

“Then I am ‘Thing’ and you are ‘Nothing’. Didn’t we get into a fight going down that road a little while ago?

“Well, yes. But maybe we understand one another a little more deeply now. Your point of view would have a world full of discrete things that occasionally interact with one another. My view insists on a world of continuous connecting interactions that occasionally manifest as shadows and silhouettes of autonomous things.”

“So the Gods are connections—like glue between ‘Things’?”

“Ha! Then I am merely a River of glue? You would have me wield my currents in order to connect your little isolated leaf with certain other ‘things’ that you crave, and then you would have me be gone!? Leafhopper, you badly need a lesson in Balance! We, the Hosts, as mere glue!? Let me show you how unbalanced that view is: Am I the glue that you carry around in a bottle? Stopped up and only flowing at your command? Is my only purpose to solidify when my work is done?”

“Whoa, Dalle! No need to be so defensive! Point taken. You are not glue but a free flowing current within which we ‘things’ can find the connections that our God-nature craves.”

“Better, Leafhopper, but still unbalanced. Your God-nature is the River within you. But that cannot be distinguished from the River that envelops you. I guess the basic problem is that you are recording this conversation using words: your little lumps of thought in the gravy of prayer.”

“Aha … and voila! Then you are gravy! Finally, I’ve nailed down your true essence!”

“Leafhopper, you make me chuckle! But yes, I suppose the entire eternal and infinite cosmic milieu can be reduced to a boiling pot of lumpy gravy: I am the broth; you are the thickener.”

“I like it! You forever work to dissolve my artificial lumps. I strive to make something cohesive out of your ethereal infinitude. We can be viewed as two perfectly matched gladiators locked in an eternal death match or as perfectly suited partners in the very work of creation.”

“I like that, Leafhopper. Again you move me to smile!”

“OK, so we have the first sentence of our new Bible according to Dalle: ‘In the beginning conflict held all forces in balance and balance kept all things in conflict.’ Our conversation is a manifestation of the fact that this condition is interminable. Then how have matters changed since the beginning? Whence the fourth word of my tradition’s Bible and all that comes after?”

“A penetrating question indeed, young Leafhopper! Did you notice that I mentioned the ‘great sideshow’ wherein Gods created worlds? Next we must look off to the side: to where the currents of meaning take shape and begin to split.”

“Then you must tell me how such currents form and how a split could divide them.”

“This I will explain. But I’m surprised that I do not hear indignant rumblings from you: Leafhopper, don’t you object that I’ve called our entire reality a ‘sideshow’!”

“Well, I know some science, Dalle: probably more than those people who would grumble. I accept that Earth sits in a quiet back alley of the Milky Way. I understand that the heavy elements like carbon and oxygen that make life possible did not exist at all until about a million years after the Big Bang: not until the universe settled down to form the first stars. Even now the heavy elements make up less than one percent of all the ordinary matter in the universe; and all the ordinary matter and energy is only four percent of the stuff of which the universe is composed …”

“Yes, your scientists still have no idea what 96% of the coherent universe is made of. Your examples are good, Leafhopper: they are one aspect of the sideshow I will speak about. I can’t wait until your scholars learn about the great influence that you call “Dark Energy”! Keep pondering this deep puzzle, young protégé: you are going to find that your contemplation and prayer wield the universe to truly profound effect!”

“Well, Dalle, if you’re really my friend you’ll tell me what Dark Energy is and make me famous!”

“Here we go again! Leafhopper, the answer is within you, and it is the result of our mutual wielding. Don’t forget how angry I got when we talked about people asking things of their Ancestors that they did not also ask of themselves?”

“Hmmmm … Yet I sense some important hints in what you just said. Nothing so fundamentally wields the whole universe as does Dark Energy. Currently Dark Energy is causing our universe to fly apart at an ever increasing pace. Could we affect this outcome over the very long term? Dalle, are you tantalizing me with some new clues?”

“Yes, I am. All beings wield their presence across all creation through their quantum fields. You are participating, Leafhopper. You can never be merely a detached observer. You are the Dark Energy. For your reason to recognize and grasp this phenomenon, you will need to describe the complex currents: quantify and characterize them scientifically in the context of the currents you know. But in order for your heart to tap these currents, you only need to ride with me in the flow that has already recognized them. Do not forsake the path of prayer in this grand quest.”

“Truth is no fixed channel marker in your River, is it Dalle? It can only come to me in its fullness when I dive in and swim.”

“Truth is a restless tug, Leafhopper. You have no idea how eagerly I await your plunge!”

“To plunge into your River of Truth: there is no goal to which I aspire more earnestly, great Dalle. My mind is finally coming to understand where Truth resides, and you have no idea how earnestly my heart seeks it. But I’m encased in a frail biological unit that clings to the solidity of the leaf on which I float. I’m afraid I still need Buddha’s raft, dear Dalle, though I no longer seek the far shore.”

“Then you shall have your raft. The Word abides, young Leafhopper.”

“I appreciate your patience, my Spirit friend. If I could, I’d like to get back to this ‘grand sideshow’ you spoke about. And back to the book of Genesis: the Bible says that the Heavens and the Earth came into being together at step one of creation. If Paradox is given the name ‘God’ then that passage could be describing the creation-step where Paradox gives rise to the primal Spirit-nature and the primal Object-nature that in turn begets everything else.”

“Hmmmmm … I hadn’t thought of it that way. But it works! I guess that’s why I said I wouldn’t change much in those Biblical texts. What we have inserted between words three and four helps fill in some gaps. But then the rest is fine …”

“Darkness loomed like a veil, obscuring the face of the deep. And the watchful Spirit of God moved restlessly over the face of the waters like a wind upon the surface of the sea. And he declared: ‘Let there be light!’”

“The waters of the sea and the dominion of the winds: here are two great Rivers without bounds—without channels. Leafhopper, since I know that you dread taking a plunge into the cloying depths of dark waters, perhaps you would prefer taking wing and soaring among the restless drafts of the wind above.”

“Oh, yes! Can we replace the ‘plunge’ with a ‘soaring’ Dalle? Is that OK with you?”

“It will do. But you still must recognize the nature of the River’s channels. The ‘great sideshow’ necessarily puts boundaries on the flow. As you soar free in the currents of the wind, you are still subject to limitations. If you soar too high, the rarefied air will not sustain you. That is like the River’s upper surface. If you ply the dominion of great mountains, you will find that you can only soar the canyon channels between the great bulwark ridges of stone. Here the River of air most resembles my River of Truth.”

“I accept your caveats, Dalle. Shall we soar together?”

“Come! Take flight! Abandon the physical limitations of time and space.”

“Oooooh! This is Heaven! I do not miss my leaf at all!”

“Nor do you miss your biological unit. Did you notice that you have effectively left your body?”

“Oh, my goodness! I hadn’t even noticed! It’s like a daydream. My body is still there, but I’m far beyond its limitations. I am the River! Dalle, I’m going to have to add this experience to the beginning of ‘As Heaven Fades’: it would make a good introduction to the tale.”

“Excellent. You may return to your body if final physical dissipation is not your immediate purpose, Leafhopper. I sense you want to complete your writing, and I encourage that. But remember to come soar with me in your prayers. Here amid the currents we can explore much more of the Ancestors’ legacy. And you become free to wield the currents across all time and space for the benefit of your fellow mortals. Come!”

“This is such a welcoming place, Dalle! We move restlessly over the face of the waters, and declare ‘Let there be Light’!”

“Dalle, while we soar, can we please shed more of this new light on the ‘great sideshow’? I never seem to tire of asking about where I came from in that largest sense.”

“Happy to oblige, Leafhopper. I will try to plainly describe the big picture of the origin of things. There can be many sideshows from trivial little clusters of particles to strongly emergent Sacred Spaces full of life and prayer—places that have grown grander than you can now conceive. The great Sacred Space that you and I now soar is perhaps the grandest such dominion that we have yet achieved.”

“How grand, Dalle? Can you show me this vast cathedral? Can I examine its decorated walls and its ornate, high-vaulted ceiling?”

“Let me show it to you through the eyes of Jebden, Leafhopper, as you continue to write that tale. I think you already understand, though, from our discussions about my Strongmother Vesper and the birth of our universe, that our Sacred Space encompasses much more than the entirety of this universe. The River of Truth is the name of our Sacred Space, and it encompasses all the physical reality that men can ever explore, as well as the half of reality that fails to physically exist.”

“I am beginning to understand these ideas, Dalle. But I’m glad you return to that duality. I need to resolve the two manifestation of the beginning that we’ve discussed. You say that Paradox consists of ‘Object-nature’ and ‘Spirit-nature’, and that emergent authority sprang naturally from the quantum froth that mediates between the two …”

“Because there can be no rest in the vacuum: the quantum rest state is infinite particle energy and vice versa.”

“But you also say that Randomness sort-of ‘begat’ the emergent authority through neglect. How do Paradox and Randomness connect?

“Paradox is unique, Leafhopper. It is the only thing that can equally be an unchanging first principle and insistent on constant change that is irrational and beyond the scope of any principle. Paradox is a human word for the Object-nature of this duality. Randomness is a name for the Spirit-nature. First principle is Object-nature, lack of principle is Spirit-nature. This is Thing opposing No-thing, Order opposing Chaos, the rule that declares ‘there are no rules’. All these verbal descriptions touch upon the same underlying essence that, for convenience, you and I agree to call Paradox.

“Or we could call it God, I suppose …”

“Yes, in the ultimate manifestation of that name, Leafhopper. The problem with that Title is the vast variety of concepts it evokes in different cultures and traditions. That is why I would advise a more neutral Title.”

“Whatever we call the ultimate reality, Dalle—the eschatology of it all—its great glory is not in what it requires, but in what it permits: free choice and thus emergence. In all manifestations of this fundamental essence the next step begins the side-show: the tale of emergence …”

“It does indeed. Where in the vacuum will the next virtual particle pair emerge? What form will it take? The answer is ‘anywhere and in any form’. Where in the landscape of this particle froth will two virtual pairs interact to form objects that escape annihilation? The answer is ‘in a new Sacred Space’: the coordinates do not matter: only the emergent properties of this space are important. Could such a chance event evolve to become a new emergent and highly-ordered universe? The answer is that it is not prohibited from doing so.”

“I see now what you were showing Jebden in your lessons: Those lonely accidental particles traverse the endless vacuum seeking further interaction.”

“Indeed. For the purpose of Order, their Object-natures seek to ally with other similar objects—to form impervious clusters in hopes of avoiding annihilation from competing incompatible particle groups. At the same time, for the purpose of codifying and regimenting the Chaos, their Spirit-nature seeks to ally with other similar abstract quantum fields, anywhere in time and space, in order to avoid appearing—existing, that is—in competing incompatible realities.”

“Ahhh! So these little burgeoning coherent spaces best sustain themselves by equally seeking communion through Object-nature and Spirit-nature. The Spirit allies could have emerged anywhere at any time, including far beyond the places humans have experienced or observed. It’s ‘any port in a storm’!”

“That is the way of balanced emergence, Leafhopper. And seeking Balance is the Noble Course to success. Their motion as they reach out through the vacuum in search of alliances is the nascent River’s motion. And thus the tale begins …”

“This is pretty profound, Dalle. The rule of Paradox is the central essence; the restless vacuum is its ether, or substrate. The emergent wayward particles appear as merely a sideshow: mutant hybrids that the Balance between Order and Chaos spits out of the original virtual froth … in every sort of manifestation, with every sort of governing physical laws …”

“Indeed. This is why your scientists can only detect a tiny fraction of the virtual pairs. The rest are too exotic. But every time two separate virtual pairs interact, a new nascent reality is born. Then the most worthy of these alliances—the most self-sustaining—begin to prevail. They expand their influence, and they begin to develop their unique channels of purpose through the Chaos around them.”

“I can imagine that they form and maintain many intriguing alliances, both in local Object-form and in universe-wide Spirit-form …”

“Yes, Leafhopper. They Seek these connections in whatever form, they codify them as Knowledge, and then they Sustain them, Impel them like a river toward the greater good, and ultimately release them as Transcendent seed to form a Sacred Space that is yet more safe and welcoming for their descendents.”

“And by this means, across incalculable eons, and through uncounted generations of Ancestor universes, our particular universe has arrived.”

“That is our tale of emergence, Leafhopper.”

“OK Dalle … finally … let’s get back to this biggie: You profess that all things lay rooted in Paradox. Reason admits no end to questioning, so it leads me to ask: ‘whence Paradox?’”

“Leafhopper, mechanistic reasoning recognizes every cause as the source for the next question. But enlightened reasoning can settle here and recognize closure. What more rational source can Paradox have but a further layer of Paradox? There is no sense to Paradox, not rationally nor from any other frame of reference. That is by definition. Properly conceived, Paradox can and must define itself. And that puts mechanistic reasoning into a simple spin that a higher layer of reasoning easily recognizes as absolutely futile: completely trivial and without direction or purpose. Thus the higher reason puts the question to rest and moves on.”

“Hmmmm. So the higher reason discards Paradox as a pointless solution, while the mechanistic form converges on it as the necessary locus for solution. That almost casts reason as a paradox itself!”

“Why do you say ‘almost’, Leafhopper?”

“Well … if different layers of reasoning contradict each other … is that an absolute condemnation of reasoning?”

“It is not the nature of Paradox to condemn anything, Leafhopper. Nor to proclaim absolutes. Paradox favors no point of view. It merely insists that the contradiction itself is the most fundamental state.”

“So the wonderful and eminently useful tool of rationality simply ends up pointing to Paradox as the first principle. The lesson is, as it always seems to be, that we must balance our use of the probing power of reason with our application of the probing power of … of prayer?”

“Or you could call it inspiration. The root word ‘Spirit’ purposefully rests in the center of that term.”

“Ahhh! Accepted. So let me use both reason and inspiration to take another stab: Step 1: the question: Whence Paradox? The answer: Look to Paradox alone for the final answer. Step 2: the validation: If Paradox is indeed the first principle then there is nowhere else to look. If there is no first principle then Paradox alone points in that direction. Step 3: the conclusion: If Paradox can equally and fully validate question and answer, they you have achieved closure. If no other concept can similarly fully encompass and satisfy both the question and its answer, then you have found the one source.”

“Excellent, Leafhopper. And since I come from a realm where language is unnecessary, let me add Step 4: Stripping variations of language (the name tags) from identical concepts: The ‘one source’ could have any Title or no Title. For example, replace the word ‘Paradox’ with the word ‘God’, return to Step 1 and repeat. Then you understand the full and unabridged nature of God.”

“Wow! That is an impersonal and indifferent God, to be sure, Dalle!”

“It would seem that the more fundamental you want your God to be, the less you can identify with him.”

“That stands to reason, doesn’t it Dalle. So if such a sterile God does not please you, then choose a slightly lesser one—one more local, more relevant, and more personal—from among those who have emerged into our Sacred Space. May I humbly recommend the lovely Dalle!”

“Awwwww … you’re sweet, Leafhopper! Thank you!”

“Heartfelt honors, Dalle. I owe you a great debt. You are a Goddess of humble wisdom and patience.”

“Leafhopper, this conversation has been a delight. You belong here, soaring among the great Pantheon of the Ancestors. I could not have hoped for a more effective wielder of words.”

“Well, I humbly defer and claim that those words were wielded through me by you, great Dalle. Thank you for showing me how to soar. Thank you for helping me to take the headlong plunge into the rich currents of your River. Thank you for bolstering its mighty channel. Let the River of Truth flow ever on!”

“And thank you for joining me, young Leafhopper. Together, we shall see that it is so. We, as entities of great purpose and meaning, have emerged victorious to bear witness to this capricious reality rooted in Paradox simply because Randomness does not and cannot prevent us. Despite being the neglected foster children of ultimate reality, we have wrestled a wealth of meaning from the clutches of the Chaos.”

“No purpose in life could be grander, Dalle, than to glorify and perpetuate our mighty alliance. The great Hosts of Heaven, our Ancestors, and the vast Community of Mankind, Ancestors to the fullness of time, are called by The Word to join together. Straddling the veiled boundaries of being and non-being, we work tirelessly to craft a mighty River of Truth for ourselves and for our descendents. Some day our works may fade from reality. But not today. And when our Heaven Fades The Word shall have gathered in a torrent of mighty currents that shall surge beyond the next veil. The bitter winds of Chaos may chase it if they can. But our children shall be many, and we vow to make them strong.”

Notes in reaction to Zen: The tradition most relevant to my beliefs.

Zen (Mahayana) Buddhism is the religious tradition closest to my heart. However the proposition that “all life is dukkha (suffering/dislocation/insecurity)” does not agree with me. I see our suffering as trivial compared to what nature regularly dishes out across the cosmos. In so many crucial ways we live in a precious, insulated “goldilocks” zone. We should be down on our knees profusely thanking the Hosts for such grace, for sustaining us in such a sacred protected space. I believe that it was suffering that awoke humanity and honed our rational conscious minds: the bitter and grueling climate shifts of the ice ages prepared us for this golden age of awakening civilization. We must honor, above all, those who bear suffering! They do it for us! Suffering is life’s essential crucible: its purpose is the greater good. That said, the imbalances of human suffering should not go untreated. The Buddha’s dual foci were his deep personal compassion and “self improvement.” Via compassion we have a responsibility to lift up one another. Through zazen (meditation) and outward-reaching prayer, we teach the world to breathe. I offer a Modified version of the Four Noble Truths and a Zen-like koan that I find personally useful.

The koan of the last raft:

Background:

A good author has experienced his subject.  When the subject exists in another universe, that can be a challenge.  So I start by putting myself in that universe through thought exercises.  Voila!  The alien universe suddenly doesn't seem quite so remote!

Through most of my life, spirituality was as irrelevant to me as an alien universe.  As I've explored it through the characters in "The Twilight's Ashes", I've grown comfortable with my own personal spiritual elements.  It's a bass-ackwards way of getting there, having to travel all the way to an alien ficticious universe, but that has been my path toward a real life, practical spirituality.

During the long absence from this blog my personal spiritual advancement has continued as I've contemplated some significant further revisions to "The Twilight's Ashes".  The journey has been aided by interactions with my UU congregation and through a two-month-long elightening discussion thread on Brain Den's "other topics" forum about the philosophy of religion and about forming a modern, useful religion.

SUCCINCT SPIRITUAL CREDO à CREED (?), draft 9/5/09

The UU Church is my chosen umbrella organization. I describe our fellowship in blunt terms, which are both scathingly critical and inspirationally liberating in their raw idealism. We endeavor to engender:

Loyalty without Authority

Faith without Belief

Trust without Guidance

Unity without Common Purpose

Morality without Foundation

In my view, all that unites the UU Congregations is that we choose to call ourselves family: a functioning community (village) working cooperatively to make the world and the lives of our members better. Though families and villages do not aspire to be exclusive, they are so by default. Evolution of humanity as a social being fosters cooperation within such social units but requires competition among them. The UU ideal, as I see it, is that our competition with “non-believers” in the UU movement should be exercised following a framework of high ideals of justice and rightness (the “Noble Course”) that strives to be as universal as it is possible to be.

One of the most valuable benefits of membership in the UU movement for me is the spiritually nurturing environment: the individual is encouraged to, and feels safe to discover his/her own spiritual path. This has allowed me to freely explore, seek, ultimately find and then work to strengthen my own sense of Authority, Belief, Guidance, Purpose and Foundation. These are expressed in my Personal Credo: the basis of an evolving faith formulated from personal inspiration with essential continuing guidance from a forgathering of the best ideas of many wise and thoughtful people. (The parenthetical comments in italics within the credo are explanatory, not explicitly part of the simple credo statement itself.) To this I give my heart:

The really, really big setting for our existence—the outermost shell as it were—is a place devoid of meaning: a random, indifferent maelstrom where Paradox reigns supreme. The really, really tiny building blocks of existence are similarly beyond purpose and blend into a veil of pure Paradox.

True to their nature, these two bounds for our being defy the scrutiny of analysis: the disputant can ever pose a coherent alternative, only for Paradox to leapfrog it. If God is omnipotent, he can create a place beyond his reach.

But between that grandest setting and the smallest there exist pockets of apparent meaning that come and go. These are the places where the currents gather for a time and seem to be going in some direction. In the grand scheme, there is no meaning to that direction; but if one is swept up in these currents, direction and purpose seem manifest.

Where these waters gather together into rivers bent on good and noble purpose, that is where I recognize a holy or sacred place. And I have found a religious home that seems to share this definition: Unitarian Universalism.

Granted it is wrong to limit the Unitarian Universalist movement to any one definitive theological position; however in my experience, the broad majority of members seem to share some form of a relativist theology wherein there is a bounded sacred space surrounded by a wider realm of something distinctly less certain and/or less sacred—they may call the latter by many names: “unknowability”, a Godless hostile realm, or simply a place that doesn’t matter very much to our daily lives.

How large is the sacred space? How small is it? The answers are legion. But I have embraced the UU church as a community bent on carving such a sacred space for itself: the congregation seems to be that space most fundamentally defined—a place that confidently and supportively holds back the darkness, whether it seeps up from an abyss within or encroaches from beyond our borders.

And here is where my own sensibilities choose to define the sacred space: our entire observable Universe lies within it, from the grandest to the tiniest scales! I choose thusly because the laws and constants of physics that govern our reality are exquisitely tuned and balanced out of an infinity of possibilities, so that the “choice” seems inspired or directed from beyond its borders. Who or what chose them? It must have been accomplished as a gathering of currents on some truly magnificent scale beyond the veil of the Big Bang. A message or a design somehow survived the birth of our Universe. Like a living thing, the Universe was born directed by some pre-existing “DNA”. And peering backward in “time” from that birth the imagination soars—there are few constraints.

Also like all living things, some day our Universe will die: whether through a collapse or a flying apart, or through the simple consumption of all the hydrogen and helium fuel within it. But will its “message” die with it? Or will some Word of it transcend? Does the “DNA” reproduce itself? Are we, as prayer-capable conscious seeking beings—beings that were designed into the message, and beings therein granted the gift of choice—are we to be party to that transcendence? Are we, as shapers of the currents for a time, co-designers of the “DNA” that will be passed to the next Cycle?

Greetings to you, concerned or curious! Welcome to the Seeksit.org web site. This post focuses on the charitable vision and goals of the organization.

The overriding vision of Seeksit.org is to organize and begin a “Long Sojourn into Harmony and Balance” for humanity. The goal is to achieve a nobly grounded, totally sustainable, peaceful community of men in spiritual and physical balance with all other living things and with the cosmos. This is a truly long-term evolutionary process, the seeking of which goes far beyond the life span of any individual.

We hope to broaden the advice to “Think Globally, Act Locally” to the dimension of time. Though the nearest future point of our focus is the Seventh Generation of our successors, the goals need to be vigorously and proactively pursued in the here and now. Toward that end, this is what we all can do today. Below are the specific proposed functions of Seeksit.org, all of which will obviously not be able to hit the ground running at once, given that this is a new start-up:

1.) Global outreach: Elevate the Downtrodden. Two projects are envisioned, initially on the level of reaching single individuals through existing infrastructure.  Having visited towns in Bolivia that electicity reached in just the past year, your founder a special affinity for those hardy folk:

A. Sponsor Adoptions and Scholarships to bring young people from the most depressed/oppressed areas of underdeveloped nations to learn and live in developed countries.

B. Establish a Reverse Peace-corps: Recruit energetic young people—age 25 or younger—from the most economically isolated areas of underdeveloped countries who have practical first hand experience living in local economies. Put them to work in hands-on local projects where they can teach by example and ground the developed world by sharing their values.

2.) Education: Seventh Generation Legacies and Beyond. Five key activities will be sponsored:

A. Research to understand what, if any, technologies are truly sustainable on near infinite time scales—a million years or more—technologies that do not deplete any resources faster than they can be renewed and that only inject waste products that the ecosystem can assimilate and neutralize as fast as they are injected. This includes studies of the sustainable balance between population count and the level of technology that a given world population can sustain indefinitely.

B. Creation of a “whole footprint” calculator, free on the internet, that will raise awareness of our true impact on the totality of our environment and resources. The full impact of technology comes from not just the overt function of a particular technology itself (i.e. wind power), but all the underlying infrastructure required to sustain it (building generators, building the machinery that makes generators, mining and refining the ore for the required materials, all the technology used for mining and refining, etc., etc.).

C. Advocate and promote serious population reduction, not just control. The level of technology in today’s world could be sustainable if the population was small enough. Realistic studies need to be undertaken (see A. above) to understand how low the population must be and to develop strategies for bringing the technology and the population density back in balance.

D. Pursue principles of truly Sustainable Health Care. One of the most troubling and sensitive problems in pursuing true sustainability comes in the area of Health Care and how it is administered. A great deal of study and sober reflection is needed in this area. (One small example is the MRSA issue: are antibiotics disturbing the ancient symbiotic balance between Staphylococcus aureus and homo sapiens?)

E. Sponsoring speakers and workshops and other awareness raising and local outreach activities.  Awareness raising is the most fundamental aspect of the foundation; since its mission is such a long-term one.  This is the area of first primary focus.

3.) Local Activism: Promote Village-scale Economies. Tap into and support existing groups with these goals: Buying and using exclusively what is produced within walking distance of where you live; bartering; learning and applying a local economy trade or ancestral craft: everything from knapping stone tools through spinning/weaving to organic gardening; Striving to live a fully sustainable life style; Promoting population reduction through personal practice (having or adopting only one child) and through social action to advocate and promote birth control.  Financial support for sister organizations, particularly locally in Howard and Carroll Counties in Maryland, will be our first involvement.


We are in the process of exploring the options to get this fledgling non-profit foundation off the ground. The first step is likely to be a fiscal sponsorship under the umbrella of an existing non-profit.  More news to come. In the mean-time, all donations (not yet tax deductible) and 50% or more of all book royalties will be funneled through the Unitarian Universalist church to foster goals compatible to the vision and the action plan of Seeksit.org.

If this vision moves you, please post a comment or email your expressions of support to pray@seeksit.org or by "snail mail" to Seeksit.org, PO Box 21, Eldersburg, MD 21784. Once the foundation is established, I will post the Tax ID and other pertinent information here.

Again, THANK YOU for your interest!

From Chapter 7: THE CHARGE OF THE GURROPSU


Deep within the underground realm of Spirits long forgotten a small flushed man who had been left alone in this world for many Returns, had made a contract with a Dark Presence. His entire village of Helena had been plundered long ago by the Ozyumps. Since the fall of Helena he had wandered aimlessly and alone, with only the Spirits of the departed for his company. He had become the Helen, the Keeper of Knowledge of his village, by simple default. For he was the last of his kind. His given name, Placido, had long faded, for there was no one left to speak it.

Not unlike the staid Spirits of the First Hoase of Caleb, the Spirits of the Helena knew not whither nor whence; and so the poor man drifted until he chanced upon the Valley of Steams.

Silent laid that valley. And desolate of human Spirit. The Yeomen known to Luke had long ago fallen to the virulent Pestilence that had wrought the Empty Realm, taking every human for six hundred miles to the south and west. All trace of the Yeomen’s homes and their proper gardens had dwindled away, returned to the natural order.

Yet the natural order of this valley still resonated. Helen could sense it. The geysers and hot springs proclaimed it boldly. Here dwelt the Gurropsu: proud and brash Spirits of Deep places where water and fire contend, Spirits of Heat and Darkness, kin to mighty Kur himself, to Uluru from the land of the Ozyump’s emergence, and to Pele who graces Loihi and the newer Kamehameha Islands. Here the Gurropsu had abided since long before men walked the Earth.

Helen found refuge here in the Valley of Steams; and he scratched a lonely garden row. As the Returns passed in solitary exile, he came to know many nether-places where the Gurropsu held dominion. His own Ancestral Spirits, the Helena, quavered and cowered at the entrance to such dens. Long were the two at odds, the untamed Gurropsu and the gentle Ancestors of men of a quiet land. But in the desperate loneliness of Helen, they found a common cause. One frail and prayerful man, devoutly and humbly beseeching the Spirit Realms for any shred of comfort or protection, forged a bond of partnership between these unlikely Hosts. Gurropsu and Helena united: for now he could no longer always tell them apart!

And so when chance brought this solitary man new purpose—when civil strangers begged for a diversion, frail Helen knew his Call. Diverting the flow, the plumbing, of the complex nether-dominion, was child’s play for a man who now counted the Gurropsu among his kin!

Now it was done. A flow of mild underground water was dammed until it found a new outlet. Now it coursed its guided path toward a long silent Sanctum of Scald hidden deep beneath the Meanders’ hearth: a furnace crypt where no water had entered for aeons, where the Fires of Kur and Pele dwelt unchecked and unchallenged.

The time had come: the dirge of the Gurrposu engulfed the valley. Helen trembled and cowered before them, unable to lift his face to look.

“Run!” Jebden screamed at G’Pahl and Tril, who had tumbled to the ground when his grip was released. “Get away from the fire!”

The slab of stone supporting his weight fell away. Jeb slipped below the surface just as a boulder hurtled past, inches above his head, driven by an outburst of boiling steam and water. Still he scratched, he crawled, he clutched at anything that would slow his descent into the seething abyss. His fingers bled from the clinging and clawing.

His feet found nothing to support him. There was only darkness and the cloying dirge of the Gurropsu. The chasm yawned vast and deep. Scalding water rained down over his head. Hissing steam burned his hands and face. He was sinking. Helpless.

Then suddenly a cushion of support rose from below. It was as if the hand of the Helena had come to the rescue. Snatched back from the pits of doom itself, he arose, lifted by a firm but gentle hidden push. A new rising current of swirling water choked with mud and foam spat him out and cast him upon the solid ground. Quickly then he stood, and limped toward safety, pain gripping his left ankle.

And now that swirl of mud and water met its destiny and its nemesis. Deep within the chasm, the new gush plunged toward the inviolate realm of Scorch. And the fell sorcery of the merged forces sprang forth upon the world of men and beasts.

The encounter stayed the heavens. Beneath the Nomads’ bonfire, the earth’s surface lurched in spasm; it flung open and exploded.

Through huge cracks, a gush of scalding water erupted. It pushed, soared, hurtled, raged skyward. Slabs of rock and earth blasted up and out like shrapnel. Those Meander near the hearth, including the two Warriors, met a quick and brutal end. Wilson and his cohorts were forced to beat a quick retreat as a barrage of scalding spray and knife-edged shards assaulted their position.

And so came the moment when the mortals’ fire extinguished, its remnants rent asunder and flung to the night sky. Engulfed by the force of dark and stifling scald, the last twilight ember was rendered to pale wet ash.

No fire. No light. The Gurropsu reclaimed the night.

The place of fire now became a jet of fuming, spitting, boiling water surging three hundred feet in the air. Billowing steam swallowed all in confusion. And into this maelstrom, a seething scalding rain began to descend.

Prin lept to retrieve her children. They found temporary shelter with Fahr beneath a clump of trees. Prin then returned and helped Jebden reach the same refuge, just beyond where Ray sat, still tethered.

At the same moment the men of Ercildoun appeared out of a cloud of steam and came to Ray’s rescue. Rodriguille severed his bonds with a few deft strokes of an ancient blade made of stainless steel. Emlen and Lars stood alert for Nomad warriors. Ray gazed at the dim visage of the new strangers with a mix of uncertainty and gratefulness.

“We’ve come to rescue you.” Rodriguille explained simply, just as Wilson’s face emerged out of the swirling steam and boiling rain.

Wilson turned to Jebden, knowing he needed to be quick to secure his trust. “We come from Ercildoun. You are a son of Trilly and an honored man of the hoase of Luke. Let us get you to safety.”

Held upright with his arm over Prin’s shoulder, Jebden gazed toward the stranger wearily and without surprise, as if he had already met the man. Then he turned toward Prin and met her eyes. When he spoke, the cacophony of the Gurropsu’s dirge seemed to momentarily relent.

“Sir, your coming is a Blessed gift.” He said, “But let us get everyone to safety.”

A renewed burst of fury from the geyser now gripped the hollow. It spat a fresh barrage of scalding steam and water in their direction. A hissing filled the skies.

“Away!” Helen’s quavering voice penetrated the miasma. “Oh, Oh, Gurropsu! Little did we appreciate our naked force! Everyone move back!”

No one needed encouragement. The blast from the geyser howled in their ears. The heat pierced their furs. Searing rain pelted their heads.

Jeb struggled to keep up with the others as he made his way out of the conflagration. The noise was deafening. It was hard to see, and every step with his left foot brought stabbing pain. Prin continued to support his left arm and Ray came to his right.

Then out of the roiling fumes a new face appeared: hateful, bent on revenge.

“Hidden One! Evil conjurer! I give you your reward!” G’Zatch loomed triumphant, bristling with fury.

He lunged toward Jebden. A black and glistening lance-point accelerated directly toward his heart.

The geyser squealed a siren song. An almost musical cacophony lifted heavenward. A requiem for the fallen. There were choirs. Gurropsu and Helena. The endless bitter sky melded with the deepest graves of the underworld. No fire, no light! The loftiest and the most profane flowed together as one. Scalded spruce and sulfurous stench smothered the nostrils and stung. The air could no longer sustain life. Furnace heat engulfed all flesh. This was the rancid taste of death, palpable and final. The Gurropsu cared not. For Helen was their only living charge.

The spear point plunged true toward its mark.

“BARRRRRGHHHHHH!” At the last moment G’Zatch’s lance lurched aside and missed. A hiss of breath escaped the Alpha male’s chest. The face of G’Rang emerged from the fume as G’Zatch fell limp to the ground: a stocky bone blade pierced through his heart from behind.

G’Rang withdrew the blade as his nemesis fell. He faced Jebden and spat just one word.

“Covenant.”

“Twilight’s Ashes” takes you to a world 630,000 years in the future where “it does not go well for men”. Humanity’s “Long Sojourn into Harmony and Balance” has finally come to fruition. Men have evolved a stable, patient disposition and comfortably settled into a sustainable pre-Newtonian (ca. 1680) low-tech culture, only to find a new ice age unsettling their peaceful coexistence with an intriguing mix of devolved post-human creatures and superior beings. Among them are the huge lumbering Yellow Ozyumps, whose invasion of a lost village begins the tale.

Surviving human enclaves are being crushed, one by one. But hope remains for men: it is pinned on the emergence of the long prophesied Seventh Shepherd (Micah 5:5): the Seventh Son of the Heavenly Host.

The greatest threat to humanity comes from “The Hoards of Ashur”—a species called the Irula or “Face Talkers”, descended from the Snake Catchers of today’s India, who are now the pinnacle of sapient evolution. Their very touch brings men a deadly contagious plague. But as the tale unfolds a derelict Irula has taken a young human under his wing, vowing to merge humanity’s hard-won Balance with the Irula promise of global Unity. These two endure a grueling and lonely quest across harsh lands and into an uncertain destiny on which hinges the very survival of homo sapiens.